Depression Symptoms and Medication

Difficult to diagnose with exactitude and difficult to cure, depression is a serious condition that can have profound negative results on the patient and those around him. The complexity of the problem depends on the fact that you cannot base the symptom of depression solely on pathology (whose field would be of total competence of the medicine), but of an existential situation in which more elements interlace one pathological psychical state (psychical member) * wrong choices in life (existential member) * the experience of negative situations (reactive member). Each patient displays a different symptom of depression.

Reactive and non-reactive conditions

From the medical point of view, a symptom of depression is one factor highlighted by a reduction of the psychical activities, inability to plan the future, anxiety. It can be reactive or non-reactive and different depression treatments have to be chosen according to this. Reactive depression is a result of a negative experience and the chosen depression medication must take this factor into account. Depressions must be separated on an organic base (caused from other diseases, such as thyroid problems, neurological degeneration etc.) and those caused by drugs.

Depression medication

During any form of depression treatment, continuity in taking the medication is essential. A pause of days or weeks in taking depression medication can have serious effects on the success of the clinical depression treatment. Support from family and friends also comes in as one of your best allies when you are fighting against depression. Anxiety depression medication, however, has to be administered in relation to the particular disturbances, enumerated below:

Disturbances of anxiety depression

· Disturbance of generalized anxiety: Cognitive-behavioral therapy, Antidepressants, Benzodiazepine.

· Disturbance from Attacks of Panic: Behavioral cognitive therapy, Antidepressant.

· Agoraphobia: Exposure graduates them.

· Social Phobia: behavioral cognitive therapy, social skills training, Antidepressants, topical anxiety depression treatments.

· Compulsive obsessive disturbance: Behavioral therapy (exposure and prevention of the answer), Therapy Rations them Emotional, Inhibitors of the reception of the serotonine.

· Traumatic Post disturbance from Stress: Behavioral cognitive therapy (exposure, training of management of the anxiety, cognitive therapy), antidepressants.

* Depression Treatment Expert

* Platinum Design – Free graphic and web design resources

Help Your Employee With Asperger Syndrome Get into the Flow of Your Office Routines

After happening across an article on Asperger Syndrome, Jack wrote me about his new employee with whom he was quite pleased and also quite baffled. Jack talked about the similarities he saw between Al, his new employee, and the characteristics of a person with Asperger syndrome. Al was hired because he excels in understanding and managing the software systems this business uses. The problem arose with the more routine skills that did not come naturally to Al, but are crucial to work place survival.

Jack was not sure how or whether to suggest to Al that he explore a possible Asperger diagnosis, but what Jack was sure of, was that some steps had to be taken in order to keep Al on as his employee. We decided not to worry about what the diagnosis might be, if indeed there was one, and concentrate on helping Al with behavior change and independence.

Following are four specific and concise action steps Jack and I designed in a series of email exchanges:

Goal #1 Getting Comfortable with the Plan

Jack: “I don’t know how to talk to Al about doing this work with you, without risking that he will feel ‘singled out’.”

Ellen: I think you will find Al won’t be surprised and will be relieved that his weak spots are out in the open. Let’s do everything in consultation with Al one-step at a time.

The Plan: In a short conversation, Jack simply said to Al, “We both have a lot to remember and we need systems to help us get our work done.” Jack also explained he was working with me. Al was receptive, saying more structure would be good. Jack added a little extra assurance for Al, saying to him “If you have any questions about anything, I will try to be available immediately, please come see me.”

Goal #2 Remembering End of Day Routines

Jack: “Al stays late to finish projects several nights a week. I really like this! But he does not ever remember that the last person to leave puts the phone on night call forwarding to voice mail.”

The Plan: We established the Office Manual. Al set himself up with a small divided binder, with ‘To remember’ sections for End of Day and Beginning of Day. In his End of Day section he has a page for ‘Before I walk out’ where he enters the details he needs to remember about turning on the call forwarding. The first two times Al was last to leave, Jack had to mention the next morning that he had forgotten to look at his Office Manual the night before. Within two weeks, just the habit of opening his manual cued Al remember to forward the phones. By the third week, call forwarding became a habit for Al when he was last out.

Goal #3 Password Change Follow Through

Jack: “Al has the job of creating and routinely changing passwords used by others on the office. The procedure is that Al has the responsibility of recording them in the computer directory where everyone goes to access the updates. The problem is that Al forgets and people are getting frustrated and their work flow is interrupted when they can’t get into files.”

The Plan: Al’s manual has a section for ‘Procedures’. Jack teaches Al the procedure and Al take over with the responsibility of referring to his book regularly. If a password is not updated, Jack simply says “Al please refer to the procedure I taught you for passwords.” Jack does NOT tell Al the action he needs to take. It is in the book and exploring for the answer will help Al establish the new habit sooner.

Goal #4 Involving Al in Creating his Strategies

Jack: There are so many details and procedures to keep an office running. As soon as I put one strategy in place there’s more to deal with.

The Plan: Encourage Al to look for ways to keep adding to and evolving the manual. Coach him to come up with more strategies that help him move toward independence.

Al’s Plan:

1. As part of his end of the day routine, Al placed his manual on top of his computer so he would come in and see it in an obvious place each morning. He reminded himself right in his manual to leave the manual on the computer, last thing!

2. On the front of the binder, Al printed in big letters Look here first. This cued him that he had resource on hand before getting overwhelmed.

3. Al reviewed his manual throughout the day at times he designated to spend working on absorbing the information.

Feedback

Al: It is great that I don’t have to wonder how to do something or worry that I am doing things wrong. There is less and less for me to remember as I review the manual. I liked being able to use my own ideas and strategies to further personalize this for me.

Jack: The time I was taking to explain and correct has dramatically reduced. I am getting my own schedule back on track! The best strategy is that once Al has the system recorded in his work manual, I can now just choose from one of two short comments. “Al did you look at your list today?” or “Al you have a list that tells you this procedure.” It’s working great!

Very important tip: Keep your plan firmly in place until you have given it a generous amount of time to settle into place. Then evaluate. When you think your strategies aren’t working, giving up is usually the reason why!

See companion articles by Ellen Mossman-Glazer~

Communication Tips to Help Your Employee with Asperger Syndrome Thrive in Your Work Place

Practical Tips to Help Your Employee with Asperger Syndrome Get Established in Your Office

Ellen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed. is a Life Skills Coach and Behavioral Specialist, specializing in Asperger Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, and learning difficulties. Over her 20 years experience in education and treatment, Ellen has seen how children and adults struggle to ‘fit in’ despite their skills and talent. She now works in private practice across the USA and Canada, by phone, teleconference groups and email, helping people find their specific tools to thrive. Ellen is the author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters: Tools and Tips for Working with Feelings and Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free and see more about Ellen at http://artofbehaviorchange.com/
You can take a free mini assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first action step.

Perspective on My Mom’s Death and Life

My mom just passed away recently. It was a very quick death; the result of a fast-moving cancer. We had no idea that she was so sick; neither did she. I am thankful, however, that she loved God. I am assured of her salvation. I know that I will see her again someday and that gives me some comfort. But still, I miss her in my life here on earth.

After her funeral, my sister and I began the painful process of going through her things and deciding who would get what. I am grateful that it went smoothly; there were no arguments about who would get her china or jewelry. She had a lot of valuables but mostly it was sentimental items that we wanted. Each one of us, my brother, sister and I, had our own special memories of one thing or another and so it was healing to go through each item and remember.

The best thing about that time, though, was the time we spent with each other, my family and I, remembering. I think my mom probably liked that as she paused in her rejoicing from heaven and watched us. Later, as I told this to a friend, she began to reflect on how important family is; that there really is nothing more valuable than family.

Family really is more important than anything. I thought about my mom and her “valuables” and what she really valued. Before she died, we had a few days to say goodbye as the cancer took over her internal organs. She asked us not to fight when she was dying and I am proud to say that we honored her request. I realize that the most important thing to her, at the end of her life and all through her life, was family.

She loved her family, both immediate and extended, more than anything. Her last days were spent at a hospice facility. What a wonderful place to be at a time like that. She was able to say goodbye to everybody she loved. One by one they came in to her room that looked like her home and she talked with them as they cried. She loved them; they loved her. I have to admit that for me, it was painful to watch her say goodbye so many times. I told my sister and brother that it was like watching her die over and over again. I finally had to leave because I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Well, it wasn’t about me. It was about her. It was her chance to let her family know just how much they meant to her. And she could also see how much she meant to them. That was a blessing to her in her final, painful hours.

She finally died with my sister at her side, just the way she wanted. My sister gave her eulogy and she remarked how each one of us was symbolic of our mom’s mind, body and spirit. My brother’s role was as her mind because he took care of her financial needs. My sister’s role was as her body, because she took care of all her physical needs, such as doctor visits and the like. Finally, my role was as her spirit because we were just so alike. We were so much alike that we fought a lot in this life here on earth. We recognized it, finally, as we both got older and we made peace with each other. But I am, more than the two of them, just like her in spirit. And I am proud to say that I inherited her faith in God and that is what is getting me through the painful process of grieving over her death. It’s hard not to have her with us here on earth but I know that I’ll see her again. I do love you, mom, I’ll see you in heaven!

Copyright October 2005 by Eunice Coughlin. She is the founder of http://www.healthy-living-for-moms.com, a resource for moms of all ages and stages seeking spiritual, emotional and physical health.

Talk to a Significant Other When They Are Depressed

It is a tough feeling, seeming like you can never say the right thing. Especially when your significant other has slipped into a depression. The wrong thing can send them yelling and screaming, and you might not even be sure why. How do you talk to him or her without it being a problem? How do you avoid making things worse, when you just want to be supportive? How do you say things so they are not taken the wrong way?

The worst thing that you can do is say things with the wrong tone. That can be the most important thing to do. If your tone is perceived as being condescending, it may be interpreted as such. Even if you don’t think your tone is wrong, you need to be careful. It is a hard thing to determine, but the best thing to do is stick to a neutral tone of voice.

The second thing to do is not to pry, but let your significant other talk to you about what is wrong. Listen, comment when appropriate, but don’t voice too many opinions. This is a time for them to be upset and they will deal with it as appropriate. Telling them to snap out of it is not the best approach. Let them set the tone for the conversation.

Finally, when they are depressed, be supportive. Now is not the time to say things that are critical. As hard as it might be, now is a time when you need to hold your tongue a little bit.

Learn to alleviate your depression at http://www.curemydepression.com

Right Brain, Left Brain

The right brain controls the left side of the body and the left brain controls the right side of the body. The right brain is the more creative or emotional hemisphere and the left brain is the analytical and judgmental hemisphere. Anything that is new or not familiar to an individual is right brain dominant. Anything that is familiar is left brain dominant.

Along with right and left brain there are different parts of the brain. The frontal lobe controls your personality, the temporal lobe deals with short and long term memory, the parietal lobe is the lobe of the hand, and the occipital lobe, the very back part of the head, controls vision.

There are specific activities that may stimulate the right or left brain.

Activities that stimulate the left brain are solving crossword or word search puzzles, performance of learned tasks, language usage, both comprehensive and expressive, analytical information, problem solving, and recalling new information. Geometric or spatial memory, hand gestures, writing one’s name, classifications of pictures or words into categories, recalling complex narratives, recognizing someone you have met, and name recognition are also all left brain activities.

Activities that stimulate the right brain are emotional issues, the creative process, recalling memorized lists, any unfamiliar event or activity, and holding the attention span. Seeing or feeling different sizes, seeing different colors, attention exercises involving timing, seeing unfamiliar faces, and meeting someone new also stimulate the right brain..

You are not dead until your brain is dead. Your brain needs two things to survive: fuel and activation. Fuel comes in the form of oxygen and glucose. Glucose comes from the food you eat, and oxygen comes from the air you breathe. The normal inspiration/expiration ratio should be exhalation twice as long as inhalation. That is to say - breathe out twice as long as you breathe in.

There are also specific treatment modalities that a clinician may utilize to increase function or activation of the right or left brain. One example is big letters made up of small letters. If you look at the small letters you will fire right cerebellum to left brain. If you look at the big letters you will fire left cerebellum to right brain.

Auditory stimulation (listening to nature sounds, clicks of a metronome, or Mozart in a major key) in the left ear comes up through the brain stem over to the right brain and vice versa for the right ear.

Visual stimulation from the left side in a checkerboard pattern using different colors comes up through the optic pathway to the brain stem and up to the right brain. The T.E.N.S. unit set at subthreshold stimulates large diameter nerves which fire up to the cerebellum and to the opposite brain.

Dr. Michael L. Johnson is a Board Certified Chiropractic Neurologist, one of only 700 in the country, with over twenty years of experience in private practice. He has completed over 850 hours of neurological studies and 3800 hours of postgraduate education. His book “What Do You Do When the Medications Don’t Work? - A Non-Drug Treatment of Dizziness, Migraine Headaches, Fibromyalgia, and Other Chronic Conditions” outlines his groundbreaking work in the treatment of chronic pain and is a national best-seller. It is available wherever books are sold.

© 2005 Michael L. Johnson, D.C., D.A.C.N.B.

Am I a Mother - Tips for Handling Mother’s Day After Miscarriage

Are you spending this Mother’s Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? 900,000-1 million women in the U.S. alone face this question every year after suffering pregnancy loss. “For women who experience a miscarriage during their first pregnancy, the question of motherhood is an even greater one,” says Lisa Church of HopeXchange, a company dedicated to the support of women and their families facing pregnancy loss.

Mother’s Day is the most difficult holiday a woman must face after pregnancy loss. A time that was supposed to be a celebration of a new life and a new motherhood becomes a time of sadness and grief. Church’s book, Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, encourages women to use the holiday to remember their babies, rather than making it a dreaded event to endure each year. “Nothing will lesson the pain of Mother’s Day, but with some planning you can make sure the day has meaning for you,” says Church. Here are some tips from the book that can help:

- You Are a Mother.

The best gift you can give yourself on Mother’s Day is the acknowledgement that you are a mother. You may not have a baby to hold in your arms, but you do have one in your heart.

- Let Your Family Know What You Need.

If you feel uncomfortable being recognized as a mother at a banquet or other function, substitute an activity you would feel good about. If you would rather not receive or wear a flower, then wear an item that helps you to connect with your baby, such as a piece of jewelry that includes the baby’s birthstone.

- Remember Your Baby.

Mother’s Day can be a great time for a husband and wife to talk about their baby and what the baby meant to them. Take a walk, have a quiet dinner, or just set aside some time to remember your baby together.

- Decide Ahead of Time.

The way you chose to spend Mother’s Day should be your decision- and one you make ahead of time. Setting time aside to remember and talk about your baby will make you “feel” more like a mom on the very day designed to do that. Church also reminds women that their spouses may experience similar feelings on Father’s Day, “so be sure to ask how he would like to spend the day.”

Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death is available online at http://www.HopeXchange.com, Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com or by calling HopeXchange Publishing at 757-826-2162.

Lisa Church is author of “Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death and founder of HopeXchange, a company dedicated to helping women and their families facing miscarriage.

To find miscarriage support and sign up for her FREE, monthly newsletter visit http://www.HopeXchange.com

Asperger Syndrome Children and Tantrums

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome the world over share a common
trait - meltdown - otherwise known as a tantrum, a “birko”, a
“go-off” or “spack-attack”.

The visible symptoms of meltdown are as varied as the Asperger
children themselves, but every parent is able to describe their
child’s meltdown behaviour in intricate detail.

Meltdowns can be short lived, or last as long as two hours. They
can be as infrequent as once a month (often coinciding with the
lunar cycle/full moon) or occur as frequently as 4-6 times a day.

Whatever the frequency and duration, an Asperger child having a
meltdown is difficult for parents/carers/teachers to deal with.

Meltdown in Asperger children is triggered by a response to
their environment. These responses can be caused by avoidance
desire, anxiety or sensory overload. Triggers need to be
recognised and identified.

So how do we deal with a meltdown? What should you do when
meltdown occurs?

An adults’ (parents/carers/teachers) behaviour can influence a
meltdown’s duration, so always check your response first.

1. Calm down 2. Quiet down 3. Slow down 4. Prioritise safety 5.
Re-establish self-control in the child, then deal with the issue

1. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the
meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve
survived meltdowns 1000 times before and will do so this time
too.

2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally
pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be
“baited” into an argument. (Often Asperger children seem to
“want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons”, so don’t
be side-tracked from the meltdown issue).

3. Slow down. Meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient
time e.g. rushing out the door to school. The extra pressure the
fear of being late creates, adds to the stress of the situation.
(Asperger children respond to referred mood and will pick up on
your stress. This stress is then added to their own.) So forget
the clock and focus on the situation. Make sure the significant
people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss
know that your Asperger child has meltdowns that have the
capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let
your child’s teacher know that if your child is late due to a
meltdown that it’s unavoidable, and your child shouldn’t be
reprimanded for it.

4. Prioritise safety when your Asperger child is having a
meltdown. Understand that they can be extremely impulsive and
irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules
they know will be utilized while they’re melting down. Just
because your Asperger child knows not to go near the street when
they are calm doesn’t mean they won’t run straight into 4 lanes
of traffic when they are having a meltdown. If your Asperger
child starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull
over and stop. If your child tends to “flee” when melting down,
don’t chase them. This just adds more danger to the situation.
Tail them at a safe distance (maintain visual contact) if
necessary.

5. When your Asperger child is calm and has regained
self-control, he will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as
you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your child the
appropriate way to express their needs/requests.

Remember that all behaviour is a form of communication, so try
to work out the ‘message’ your Asperger child is trying to
convey with their meltdown, rather than responding and reacting
to the behaviour displayed.

Thoughts on the After-Life

1st Internet Question: DO YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION? FOR THOSE WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND REINCARNATION, IT’S A PROCESS WHEREBY YOU LIVE A NUMBER OF LIFE-TIMES IN ORDER TO PERFECT YOUR LIFE THAT COULDN’T BE ACCOMPLISHED DURING ONE LIFE-TIME BEFORE YOU ARE ACCEPTED IN THE GREAT BEYOND.

The responses come from 2 Christian websites and 1 Hindu website

1) Corbin says: I have some problems with this concept. Some say that all living beings are reincarnated, but I don’t see how a cockroach can perfect itself to be a better cockroach to advance to a higher stage in life. And just thinking in terms of human beings, I don’t see how one can become perfect, no matter how many life-times you live because there will always be lessons to learn. Besides if this process were true, I would feel the world should be getting better and better over such a long period of time.

2) Frank says: Maybe the cockroach can come back to a higher form because I’m sure I’ve met a few in my time.

3) Mary Anne says: Hebrews states that man is given once to die, otherwise Jesus would have had to suffer many times for us to put away our sin.

4) Carlos says: I believe in reincarnation. I believe that when we were created we were created out of Diety and somehow we lost our way, but as we relearn more and more of our lessons we will become more and more of a Diety until that time when we learn all of our lessons which will cause us to become a pure Diety again. And you can’t do this in one life-time. It will take
many life-times.

5) Will says: I agree with Chris, but I go even further. Before the time of the current chaos, death was not. Spirit could change from form to form at will, that it might come to understand all things, and actions in the universe. After chaos began, death became the new reality required to become aware of the totality of the Cosmic illusion which is now petrified. Before chaos the Cosmic illusion was fluid and spirits flowed through it like a river. I personally have no recollection of being an animal, but I do have a recollection of living as a tree.

6) Mat says: I believe in reincarnation too because more and more pyschologist are finding evidence of its existence, usually through hypnosis.

7) Tom says: I don’t believe in reincarnation for a number of reasons. These are as follows, that in reincarnation. 1) Evil doesn’t really exist. 2) Whatever happens in life should be accepted as being good. 3) There is no moral standard for right and wrong. 4) It generates no social compassion. 5) Over such a long period of historic time, the world should be improving. 6)
No explaination as to where evil really came from. 7) Then Jesus must have been reincarnated too. Sins cannot be forgiven. And 9) you have to work for your Salvation, whereas in Christianity Salvation is a free gift.

2nd Internet Question: IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION, DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH, AND IF SO, HOW DO YOU ENVISION IT?

1) Eddy says: The Resurrection. This is what we are promised.

2) Mathew says: The difference between the resurrection and reincarnation is very little, if not at all.

3) Otto says: First, death is the separation of the soul from the body. While the body sleeps, the soul is given a foretaste of what is likely (but not certain) to be its eternal state; this is often called the “intermediate state”. At the resurrection, the soul and body (in its spiritual state) are reunited for the judgement which determines one’s eternity.

4) Sally. Says: I think that heaven and hell are here on earth. It is all a state of mind and how people look at you. For example, when you die, it depends on how people see you and think about you, and they will never forget that image, and this is eternity. And I also believe in a heaven and a hell, where every event will be judged as being good or bad, which will also determine how we live in eternity.

5) Mat says: Yes. No idea.

6) Brad says: I can hope for a life after death, particularly one that might let me make some amends for sad decisions made in this life. However, I have no reason to expect it. Under the circumstances, envisioning it would be fruitless speculation.

7) Corbin says: I don’t believe in reincarnation, but I know there is life after death, and even though I enjoy this life very much, and do not really know the specifics of the after-life, I know it’s going to be better than the present life.

Michael says: I think it’s impossible to conceive of - clearly it won’t be an existence in the same way as we
know it now, as it will exist in the spiritual parallel rather than in a bodily sense. But I have some sympathy with what Bran said - is there really any point in thinking about it, when there is so much life to live now? It can give us hope, but I think there is a genuine danger of becoming so other-worldly, that we forget about being Christians today.

3rd Internet Question: DO YOU BELIEVE IN A HELL IN THE AFTER-LIFE, AND IF SO, HOW DO YOU ENVISION THIS? OR DO YOU BELIEVE THIS HELL IS HERE ON EARTH WHILE WE LIVE?

1) Shirley says: Neither. Hell is not a place of torment. It is simply the common grave of all mankind. No one is conscious of being in hell. It is a place of darkness, silence, and total inactivity. (Ecclesiastes 9:5,10, and Psalm 146:4)

2) Ralph says: The Old Testament shows little, if any, knowledge of the type of hell populated by mainstream Christian religions. It seems to me that hell - along with the concept of a devil and the after-life - was an idea evolved over time, probably greatly influenced by the Hellenistic concept of the underworld. I don’t see the Hebrew scriptures dealing with this concept much at all.

3) Saul says: Hell is the effects of believing in and consequently experiencing oneself as separate from God.

4) Jack says: Lowest common denominator is hell. It is a place where God is not, so I don’t want to be there. God is light and love, so Hell will have none of either. Can you imagine how life would be in total darkness and total hatred.. Not a place I wanna experience whether there is fire or not. I don’t think you have to be a rocket scientist to make that decision.

5) Alice says: I’ve often wondered if hell is here on earth. The only thing I’m reasonably certain of, is that Hell is separation from God.

6) Mary Jane says: Hell is other people. Separation from God? How can that be possible? How can there be anywhere or anyone or anything that is not sustained by God’s will? In my mind it’s a logical impossibility. So what am I left with? A reality that is chosen to be experienced in such a way by the belief systems of other people, and by myself. These collective belief systems can create nightmares out of waking reality: The Holocaust, apartheid, sexual slavery in the far east and eastern Europe, starvation, and AIDS in Africa. Hell is a here-and -now kind of thing that lives in our hearts when we fear and despair.

7) Edward says: Hell is nothing more than the grave and oblivion. There’s no Biblical evidence for a firey hell. And I also don’t believe in an eternal hell.

4th Internet Question: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE? AND HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THOSE BOOKS ON NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES AND OTHER PARAPSYCHOLOGICAL BOOKS ON THE EVIDENCE OF AN AFTER-LIFE?

1) Corbin says: I had one when I was in primary school. I was hit by a car while crossing the street and was knocked unconscious. After that, I remember floating bodily above my mother in the dining room while she was cleaning the room. For many years I just thought that this was a dream, but after reading a number of books on near-death experiences, I believe that this was mine, and this helped me in being convinced that there was life after death.

2) Jim says: I would be careful with this stuff, because most of these books are into the paranormal, and that’s when I believe some of the lines get crossed.

3) Mat says: I question near-death experiences. I haven’t found any Biblical references for them. I saw a show once that explained them away as something the brain makes up as it thinks it’s dying in order to calm itself. Pilots who go into training to handle g-force would also pass out and experience the exact same thing that people with near-death experiences would experience. I do believe in near-life experiences however.

4) Ralph says: I believe in near-death experiences. I was once dead in 1987, and my life hasn’t been the same since. I believe God gives the ones that have had the so called NDE’s, their experience so that some of us will know that their is life after death. My only question I have 15 or so years after my experience is, “Can there be life before death?”. It is written that man cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God.

5th Internet Question DO YOU FEEL YOUR PET WILL BE WITH YOU IN THE AFTER-LIFE, OR WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR PET WHEN HE OR SHE DIES?

1) Jim says: This is based on the assumption that we will be in heaven. Basic Christian doctrine asserts that when we go to Heaven, we will be reunited with our loved ones. Since for many “our loved ones” include our pets, then our pets would indeed be in Heaven. This, therefore, clearly indicates that the pets, and all animals for that matter, possess a soul/spirit.

6th Internet Question: DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A JUDGEMENT IN THE AFTER-LIFE AS TO WHO HAS THE GOOD AFTER-LIFE OR THE BAD
AFTER-LIFE? HOW DO YOU FEEL THE JUDGEMENT IS REALLY MADE? What about babies or small children, cruel dictators, suicides, suicide bombers where the people involved feel they have good intentions, the mentally sick or handicapped who commit violence, those adults who grew up as unwanted children who commit crimes as a result, and those who have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, but have really made some bad choices that have harmed many people because of their intolerence and segrational attitudes.

3 people stated that they believe in reincarnation so that there would be no judgement involved in that each individual would be in charge of improving themselves, no matter how many lives it takes, until they reach the state of perfection that God expects them to reach. In this case, I feel they don’t really need Jesus Christ for Salvation.

1) Steven says: Jesus says that not everyone that says Lord, Lord, shall enter the Kingdom. (Matt 7:21) I think one must first realize that not all who claim to be Christian are.

2) Corbin says: And the opposite might also be true. Those who we feel might not be Christians, or profess not to be Christians, might very well be the people God wants in heaven.

3) JB says: I believe there will be a judgement of all the people once they die, determined by who’s found in the Book of Life. (Rev 20:12-15) Those who are found unworthy to be with God will experience their second death.

4) Will says: I believe that if there is a judgement, God wil be fair about it, and I will trust in His judgement..

5) Corbin says: I believe that there will be some sort of judgement after death, and I agree with Will, in that God will certainly be fair about it.

THE AFTER-LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE

NOBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT THE AFTER-LIFE WOULD BE LIKE, BUT I BELIEVE IT WILL HAVE FANTASTIC SURPRISES FOR MANY, AND BE A GLORIOUS HAVEN FOR THOSE WHO GOD FAVOR.

The names of the commentarians have been changed, except for myself, to protect the privacy of the Internet contributors, but the comments are accurate.

AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH

I was born in New York City in 1931, grew up on Long Island, graduated from Roanoke College in Virginia with a BA in Political Science, and from New York Theological Seminary with a Masters Degree in Religious Education. I became a committed Christian in 1958, and after a number of years became a committed Ecumenical Christian. I worked as an accountant in various companies for about 25 years in New York City, then moved down to Argentina and worked for about 21 years as a Business English Conversationalist Teacher with some of the top managers. My greatest life-changing experience occurred in the early 70’s when I became very active for about 3 years in a social nudest (both sexes) camp. I also became a Stephen Minister (trained counselor) while down here. I have been married twice (the last to an Argentine), widowed once, and have no children, but one cat. If you want to contact me, you
can do so via (corbinwr@yahoo.com).

You Can Help A Grieving Heart

Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. But the hardest part of parenting is the least often discussed. The roughest aspect of being a parent is losing a child.

Then we clam up. We don’t want to hear. We are threatened. If her child died, mine could, too. What can we do when parenting goes beyond the normal expectations? “What do I say?” friends ask me with a look of agony in their eyes. “I feel so helpless. I can’t empathize, I haven’t had a child die.”

You can help. You don’t have to stand there with a blank stare or excuse yourself from the conversation. You can be informed so that you will be able to reach out to a friend who has lost a child.

“Jump into the midst of things and do something,” says Ronald Knapp author of the book, Beyond Endurance: When A Child Dies. Traditionally there are the sympathy cards and hot casseroles brought over to the bereaved’s home. But it doesn’t end there. That is only the beginning of reaching out to your friend or relative who has recently experienced the death of a child of any age.

Here are 15 tips you can learn to make you an effective and compassionate friend to your friend in pain:

1) Listen. When you ask your friend, “How are you doing today?” wait to hear the answer.

2) Cry with her. She may cry also, but your tears don’t make her cry. She cries when no one else is around and within her heart are the daily tears no one sees.

3) Don’t use any clichés. Avoid lines like, “It will get better.” “Be grateful you have other children.” “You’re young, you can have another baby.” “He was sick and it is good he is no longer suffering.” There will never be a phrase invented that makes it all right that a child died.

4) Help with the care of the surviving children. Offer to take them to the park, your house for a meal, to church. Say “May I please take Billy to the park today? Is four o’clock okay with you?” Don’t give the line, “If you need me, call me.” Your bereaved friend may not feel comfortable with asking for help.

5) Say your friend’s child’s name. Even if she cries, these are tears that heal. Acknowledging that the child lived and has not been forgotten is a wonderful balm to a broken heart.

6) Give to the memorial fund. Find out what it is and give, today, next year and the next. Show you want to keep the child’s memory alive.

7) Some mothers start to collect items that bring comfort after a child dies; find out what it is your friend is collecting and by one for her. My son liked watermelon and we have many stories of watermelons and him. So now my house has assorted watermelon mementos—-a tea pot, a dish towel and a soap dispenser. Many mothers find solace in collecting rainbows, butterflies and angels.

Send a card (I’m thinking of you is fine) but stay away from sappy sympathy ones.

9) Go to the grave. Take flowers, a balloon or a toy. How honored your friend will be to see what you have left there the next time she visits the cemetery.

10) Don’t use religion as a brush away for pain. Stay clear of words that don’t help like, “It was God’s Will.”

11) Don’t judge her. You don’t know what she is going through each day, you cannot know of the intense pain unless you have had a child die.

12) Stay in touch. Call to see how she is coping. Suggest doing something together but if she isn’t up to it, give her space.

13) Read a book on grief, focusing on the parts that give you ideas on how to be a source of comfort for your bereaved friend.

14) Know she now has a hole in her heart, a missing piece due to the death of her child. Holes like these never heal so accept this truth and don’t expect her to get over this loss.

15) Remember that with the death of her child, a part of her died - old beliefs, ideals, etc. Her life has been forever changed.

Even as you participate in the suggestions above, you will still feel uncomfortable. It has been three years since my four year-old Daniel died, and even now when I meet a newly bereaved mother, I am uncomfortable. Talking of the untimely death of a child is never easy for anyone. However, avoiding reality does not bring healing. You will provide many gifts of comfort along the way when you actively decide to help your grieving friend. When my friends and family acknowledge all four of my children, the three on this earth and the one in Heaven, I am honored. Each time it is as though a ray of warm sunlight has touched my soul.

Further Reading:

When A Child Has Died: Ways You Can Help A Bereaved Parent. Bonnie Hunt Conrad. Fithian Press, 1995.

When Your Friend Is Grieving: Building A Bridge Of Love. Paula D’Arcy. Harold Shaw Publishers, 1990.

Beyond Endurance: When A Child Dies. Ronald J. Knapp. New York: Schocken Books, 1986.

Slices Of Sunlight, A Cookbook Of Memories: Remembrances Of The Children We Held. Alice J. Wisler. Daniel’s House Publications, 2000.

Down the Cereal Aisle: A Basket of Recipes and Remembrances. Alice J. Wisler. Daniel’s House Publications, 2003.

Alice J. Wisler of Daniel’s House Publications, leads workshops on living with grief after the death of a child. Her web site teaches how to write for healing. She is also the editor of the popular ezine, Tributes and author of “Down the Cereal Aisle” and “Slices of Sunlight.”

http://www.geocities.com/griefhope/index.html

What is the Theory of Multiple Intelligences? Part 2: Cultural Influence

Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences developed as he worked with brain injured adults and autistic children. He identified distinct portions of the brain that control specific human abilities or talents like analysis, classification, speech, self-awareness, etc. He has identified eight distinct abilities that he refers to as “intelligences”: verbal-linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and the naturalist. In addition to the biological basis for these intelligences, Gardner also places great emphasis on cultural influences that may impact the development of each intelligence.

Culture determines what parents and schools will teach their children based on the needs of the community. Gardner says: “It is the culture that defines the stages and fixes the limits of individual achievement.” For example, educators have found that the Mexican American culture places a strong emphasis on community and on family; therefore, many members of this community have well-developed interpersonal intelligences.

The influence culture has on the development of the intelligences points to one of the most important components of the theory — the makeup of intelligences changes over time with age and with experience. Thomas Hatch profiled the intelligences of several children when they were in kindergarten and again when they were in the sixth grade. He discovered that their intelligence profiles had changed over time. Hatch says: “Just because young children display particular capacities does not necessarily mean that they will grow up to excel in activities involving those capacities. Children’s intelligences, the manner in which they display them, and how successful they are, shift, grow, and vary over time.”

In other words, if intelligences change with time and experience, they can be learned. If they can be learned, they can be taught. As a result, students who are not strong in one intelligence can be taught to develop that intelligence. According to Bruce Torff: “The intelligences develop - they grow and change over time, which allows strengths to be exploited and weaker areas remedied. …If you provide the right kinds of support for students, they build the kinds of intellectual structures that enable them to do things.”

David Lazear says that teachers should watch for “ways to help students stretch into new intellectual areas - maybe areas in which they are uncomfortable or weak.” Not only are weaker areas strengthened, but students develop a better self-image because they use a well developed intelligence to improve a weaker one.

In an interview with Kathy Checkley, Gardner said: “Teachers have to help students use their combination of intelligences to be successful in school, to help them learn whatever it is they want to learn, as well as what the teachers and society believe they have to learn.” In other words, Gardner believes that teachers need to find ways to incorporate instruction into their classrooms that encourages students to develop weaker intelligences by drawing on their strengths. This in turn improves both attitude toward learning and academic achievement.

References:

Checkley, K. (1997). The first seven … and the eighth: A conversation with Howard Gardner. Expanded Academic ASAP [on-line database]. Original Publication: Education, 116.

Gardner, H. (1983). Frames of mind: The theory of multiple intelligences. New York: Basic Books.

Hatch, T. (1997b). Getting specific about multiple intelligences. Expanded Academic ASAP [on-line database]. Original Publication: Educational Leadership, 54 (6).

Lazear, D. G. (1994). Multiple intelligences approaches to assessment: Solving the assessment conundrum. Tucson, AZ: Zephyr Press.

Torff, B. (1996). How are you smart?: Multiple intelligences and classroom practices. The NAMTA Journal, 21 (2), 31-43.

Vasquez, J. A. (1990). Teaching to the distinctive traits of minority students. The Clearing House, 63, 299-304.

Michele R. Acosta is a writer, a former English teacher, and the mother of three boys. She spends her time writing and teaching others to write. Visit http://www.thewritingtutor.biz/articles for more articles, http://www.thewritingtutor.biz/writing_editing_service for professional writing/editing services, or TheWritingTutor.biz for other writing and educational resources for young authors, teachers, and parents.

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