What The Buddha Says About Coaches

There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: “If you meet
the Buddha on the road, kill it.” This means to kill any
concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.

To kill the Buddha is to BE the Buddha. Any concept we can
have of the Buddha is so much smaller than the reality of
what the Buddha actually is. And therefore any concept we
have of the Buddha is limiting.

To experience the reality of the Buddha, we must destroy
that concept in order to be free of the limitations.
Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, this analogy can be
applied to coaches and coaching.

“If you meet the Coach on the road, kill it.”

This means to kill any concept of being a Coach as something
apart from
oneself.

To kill the concept of Coach is to BE a coach. To kill the
Coach means to throw away the idea that we can flick a
switch and “Be A Coach” while on the phone with a client,
then hang up, and flick that switch off.

This simple philosophy can by used to create multiple
streams of coaching income. By Bringing a coaching-rich
approach to the creation of other streams of income,
destroying our previous notions of that being a coach means
coaching one-on-one, and the result is:

- a much greater impact of coaching on the world

- a much greater means to earn wealth for coaches

If you’ve been coaching for awhile, ask yourself, do you put
on your role as a Coach like a hat, and take it off after
you hang up the phone with a client?

Do you have an ON/OFF switch that you flick, turning your
role as Coach on and off?

If yes, what would it be like for you to destroy your role
as a Coach and go beyond?

Andrea J. Lee coaches entrepreneurs and online business
owners. As Thomas J. Leonard’s General Manager, she helped
build and manage the largest network and trainer of personal
and business coaches in the world. Now the CEO of Andrea
J. Lee Group of Companies, she writes, speaks and consults on
Marketing, Internet and Business systems. This is an excerpt
from the her book - Multiple Streams of Coaching Income,
http://www.msoci.com/msbooklink.html

Coaching Certification: The Low Down

During a conference call of a mastermind group of 30 professional business coaches and consultants, who had all been coaches for over 5 years, the discussion turned to the “coaching certification” process for coaches. What was interesting to note is that this mastermind group was unusual in that everyone had surpassed the industry average of making more than $20,000, exceeded 10 paying clients and 1/3 made more than $100,000. (Source: Stephen Fairley, author of Getting Started in Personal and Executive Coaching) And the real kicker was not one of those on the call had ever been asked for their coaching credentials by their clients. If the subject of credentials came up, it was always by another certified coach. Interesting given that no one within this group was a “certified coach.”

With the continued growth of this billion dollar plus industry, it appears that innovative individuals have decided to provide opportunities for those who wish to become coaches and by offering a certification process. NOTE: A recent quick Google search of the Internet revealed 215 coaching schools (Source: http://www.peer.ca/coachingschools.htm

Good for them! After all being certified automatically means that you are more credible and can deliver better results? Of course if this was true, then why do most coaches (53%) make less than $20,000 a year?

Possibly, the answer is a lack of a proven process not to mention some poor small business practices. Certification programs may offer the techniques and some tools, but do they have a proven history that consistently demonstrates securing results for their clients? I doubt it given that the majority of coaching schools are relatively new and even established traditional universities that offer executive coaching programs are new to this field.

If you are thinking about becoming an executive coach, do your research. Before you spend thousands of dollars on that coaching certification program, ask the following questions:

1. Do over 60% of your certified coaches make more than $50,000? (Note: For this mastermind group, this is anywhere from 10 to 15 minimum clients per year.)
2. What type of results do their clients receive? (Note: The process that this mastermind group uses generally doubles results in 30 to 90 days.)
3. Can the same process be used in a variety of industries? (Note: This mastermind group has coached individuals including a U.S. Senator, Fortune 500 executives, high school and college students, small business owners and housewives. The industries range from manufacturing to high technology.)
4. Do proven, high quality tools support the process?
5. Are testimonials available from both graduates and clients?
6. How long have has the coaching school or company been in business? (Note: This mastermind group uses a company with a 25 year proven history.)

Executive coaching is a rewarding career. Just be careful that you don’t reward others before you understand the dynamics within the explosive field. You just may be paying for something that is not necessary and putting your hard earned dollars in someone else’s pocket.

Leanne coaches individuals, small businesses and large organizations to double performance in warp time. She is a national speaker on performance improvement from youth to adults. Please feel free to contact her at 219.759.5601.

If you truly don’t believe doubling your results is possible, read some case studies where individuals and businesses took the risk and experienced unheard of results.

One quick question,if you could secure one new client or breakthrough that one roadbloack, what would that mean to you? Then, take a risk and give a call at 219.759.5601 to experience incredible results both personally and professionally.

How to be Your Authentic Self

Most of us play many different roles in the course of any given day. We could be Mom, Boss, Employee, Student or Friend, to name just a few. Very often we identify ourselves by those roles. When asked, “Who are you/” we say, “I’m a wife and mother”, “I am a doctor and amateur photographer”. We identify ourselves by how the world sees us, not by who we really are.

Our authentic self is who we really are, deep at the core of our being. Our authentic self is not who the world labels us to be. The authentic self is driven by our individual values and our specific needs.

In order to learn to be our authentic self, we must first discover our authentic self. To discover is to learn of the existence of something. Self-discovery is learning of the existence of our core values and needs.

Discovery is not a one step process. Although there are many “a-ha” moments in discovery, there is a lot of hard work that must be done before and after experiencing those “a-ha” moments in order to incorporate that discovery into our daily lives. Once we say “a-ha” I really value adventure and creativity and I really need support and tenderness, it is time to incorporate those values and needs into our daily lives.

While most of us would date the discovery of penicillin to the early 1940’s, the first “a-ha” moment came much earlier. Sir Alexander Fleming discovered that the mold growing on his unwashed culture plates was repelling the bacteria surrounding it in 1928. It was not until 1940 that Ernst B.Chain and Sir Howard Florey first tested penicillin on animals. And it was not until 1941 that pharmaceutical companies
in the United States started penicillin production, a long road to the discovery of penicillin.

Self-discovery is also a long road. In truth, we can continue to discover ourselves throughout our lives. But, we have to work at it. We have to look deep into our core to find our inherent values and needs.

Think about what values motivate your daily life. In any community there are shared values. These might be honesty, integrity, respect, and helpfulness. You might share these values with colleagues, friends and family. In addition to these shared values you will have values that are specific to you as an individual.

Your individual values might be, to contribute, to discover, to teach and to create. These values are specific to you and are what propel you to become who you are. You are more likely to be drawn to work in the arts if your core values consist of creativity, originality, discovery and beauty. By the same token, you would be more likely to become a teacher if your core values consist of guiding, inspiring, learning and informing.

The other factor to be considered in becoming our authentic self is the needs that drive us emotionally. We can not be our authentic self without having those needs met.

You might have the need to be empathetic in your relationships, or to experience adventure. Perhaps your need is to be really connected to your family or community. These needs go beyond the shared human needs of food, shelter and safety.

We often confuse wants with needs. To want something is to desire it. We may want a bigger house, newer car or financial independence. We can achieve those desires and still have core needs that are unmet. We have all heard the saying “ Money doesn’t buy happiness”. The truth in that adage is that “money” is an external want not an internal need. When our internal needs are not met, it matters not
what external gains we accomplish, we are left un-fulfilled.

If we don’t live by our core values we are in essence creating core needs. For instance, if we have discovered that our core values consist of things like, creativity, originality and imagination and yet
we work and live in an environment with no room for original thinking and conceptualization, , we are not being our authentic selves. In turn we are creating the unmet needs of creativity, originality and imagination.

So, in order to be our authentic self we must embrace the path of self-discovery. We must look deep within our being and discover our core values and needs. We then must choose our goals and our path in life based on those core values and needs.

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

10 Fun Ways To Live An Enchanted Life Today!

I am often asked how I can live the way I do. Who pays me to be a real-life Merlin? It’s not as if you can open the paper and read a want Ad for such a position. I live an enchanted life because I created it that way. Using the principles taught to me by the fey and my own stubborn refusal do anything else. You can too…

“Enchantment doesn’t exist in wands and candles, it lives in your heart. Open your heart to the universe and magick will follow you wherever you go.”

So without further delay here’s how you can put a little enchantment into your day.

1. Give a surprise gift to someone you don’t know
Go on, be the source of abundance to someone completely and totally unrelated to you. Why unrelated? Because then you truly won’t expect anything in return and will give freely. It needn’t be expensive, a magazine, second hand book, an unopened can of beans will do. Wrap it in nice paper, put a bow on it and leave it in a public place for someone, anyone to collect. Walk away with a smile on your face all day.

2. Tell someone who’s imposing on you to sort it out for themselves
I love this one! This is a magnificent gift to yourself that truly keeps on giving. Your self-confidence and self-trust skyrockets, the other person gets the opportunity to be more resourceful and you’ve freed up at least a couple of minutes to spend however you wish. It’s not hard just say “I have other priorities right now. I’m sorry but I can’t help you with that.”

3. Tell God/Goddess/Guardian Angel/Guide off
Had a bad day? Then why not have an almighty rant about it and be done with it. Get an egg timer and give yourself exactly 2 minutes to just rant on about how upset you are about it. I always find a “Dear God, I’m p*****d” letter to be of extremely good value. But hey you can write to anyone you like. When you’re done delete that computer file, cut up the paper with a pair of scissors or otherwise destroy it and get on with being happy again.

4. Outsource your worrying
Worrying is time consuming, drains your energy and pulls you down. So why do it? Worrying about things doesn’t solve them it just makes you upset. The fey want you to know that they have a Magickal Worrying & Worse For Wear Department waiting, ready and able to take on your worries for you. They’ll personally collect them from you, take them to a quiet place and put their own little heads to worrying about and solving your problems. You can get on with enjoying your day.

5. Keep a pocketful of happiness
Keep a pocket book of things that make you smile. They could be pictures of things you like, jokes, letters from someone special or even just nice things you write to yourself. It doesn’t matter it is as long it makes you smile. Carry this item with you everywhere you go and whenever you feel out of sorts get out your pocketful of happiness and top up again.

6. Remember the gate
All things come to us when we truly desire them. But when they don’t come according to our schedule we tend to get upset and imagine they are not coming at all. The only true determinant of timing is how soon you can become aligned with what you are intending to create.

When the gate to what you want appears closed you just have to wait…because it always opens.

7. Escape the crazy maze, one inch at a time
On average we spend around 80% of our time attending to needful things, must-do’s and other onerous tasks. All the while we wish we could be living a different life or getting on with being a Merlin. I hear you, I’ve been there. The way out of the crazy maze we call “normal life”is to take one step everyday towards the new life you intend for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a huge leap, or even a dash for the finish line. If our lives only currently permit an inch in the right direction today then that’s the step we take today! An inch out of the crazy maze today allows us to make a mile tomorrow.

8. Refuse to grow up
Did you know that when most people tell you to “grow up” what they are really saying is “I can’t handle your reality, come down and live in mine.” No thanks! Life doesn’t have to be and isn’t intended to be the incredibly intense and serious drama we turn it into. Yes be responsible for your life and your commitments but don’t lose your childlike ability to dream about and create enchantment.

Whatever enchantment you feel in your heart is there because the universe intends for you to live it. And if something as big and powerful as the universe wants to give it to you, who are you to deny it?

9. Don’t wrestle with dilemmas, they’re bigger than you
Your mind is an energy magnet. The more excited it gets the more energy it attracts, but what kind of energy is it attracting? Thoughts that make you feel anxious, uneasy and helpless attract big hairy monsters known as dilemmas. They’re bullies and they’ll beat you down every time. Thoughts that make you laugh, feel ecstatic and blush attract lovely muses that sing you to sleep at night and also just happen to carry dilemma repellant. When you’ve got a problem to solve watch your energy, is your mind attracting the muses or the dilemma’s? If it’s the latter you’d better call in the Magickal Worry & Worse For Wear Department so they can fed-ex you the perfect solution asap.

10. Get addicted to happiness
It’s sadly true that most of us for a great portion of our lives are addicted to negativity. For some reason we just don’t feel right unless there’s a major drama going on. Sure we can take happiness in small doses but too much and we start worrying about when it’s all going to end. And then sure enough something “bad” happens. But help is available, you can become addicted to happiness and all it takes is a willingness to experience a little more happiness every single day. Before long you’ll be able to tolerate happiness on a regular basis.

Start a happiness tolerance calendar to see how many days you can be happy without worrying about when it’s going to end. Then you can begin increasing your ability to receive more happiness.

Claire Hunt is a modern day Merlin, Merlin’s mentor and founder of the online Merlin community. To find out how you can become a real-life Merlin or live an enchanted life visit us at http://www.merlinsouls.com

For more great advice from the fey & fun Merlin practices get a FREE subscription to Lucid Dreams - the Merlin’s newsletter Subscribe now!

How to Motivate Yourself When You Lose Your Motivation

The ability to motivate yourself is very important. Let me say that again, your ability to motivate yourself is extremely important. There are days that I feel like I don’t want to get up from my bed and I am sure that you’ve been through the same experience. Today is going to be the best day in your life because today you will learn how to regain your motivation back and start living your life again!

How do you know if you lose your motivation? Well the first obvious sign is things that you used to get exited about are no longer exciting to you anymore. It can be a car, a relationship, a job, a pet or anything. You feel tired, fatigue and bored. You get irritated easily.

As we get older, our expectation changes! I used to think that a Chevy Camaro would be my dream car! In fact I bought one 2 years after I graduated from college, I was happy for about 6 months until I realized that the Camaro was not too great for my daily commute.

As you get older, your expectation changes. You may want hang around different kind of people or friends, date a person with different personality and moral values, you want a car with leather seat instead of cloth seat and so on.

That’s one of the reasons why people keep coming and going in your life. People change! We change!

So losing your motivation is a part of life. What’s not normal is, when someone stays unmotivated too long and he/she is unable to stand up too long.

I happen to like to watch a boxing match. A boxer who is not able to get back up and fight again will lose the boxing match. If you go scuba diving, sooner or later you must get out of the water once your oxygen runs out, or you’ll drown.

So many people died with unfulfilled dreams and goals, because they were unable to motivate themselves. Their dreams and goals are now buried with them in their grave.

Don’t let that happen to you. You’re a special person with a unique talent and gift; don’t let hopelessness and depressions get you down.

I was reading the book of Genesis chapter 1:27 “So God created man in his own image…” You and I were created in God’s own image! So you are a unique and special person in God’s likeness that is blessed with a special gift, talents and skills!

When you feel like you lose your motivation, always speak with words of faith that are positive, encouraging and full of hope, because your words are power!

The book of Proverb chapter 18 says that “The tongue has the power of life and death…” What comes out of your mouth can either become a blessing or a curse; your words can bring peace or war.

When people get hurt by unkind words, the wounds stay longer. What’s coming out of our mouth can either give you hope and encouragement or hurt you.

When you feel bored you can try to find a new thing that will excite you, like new hobbies, new like of work, and maybe a new business venture.
The faster you regain your motivation back is the better. Don’t just sit and wait for a miracle to come, you must search and find it. When you’re hungry, you go to the kitchen and find something to eat! When you’re thirsty, you will try to drink a glass of water or find something to drink.

If someone is hungry and thirsty and he/she is not unwilling to walk to the kitchen to get food and to get some water to drink, sooner or later, he/she will die of starvation.

So again, it is very important for us to be able to regain our motivation back. Go on a vacation, do something fun, buy your favorite CDs/DVDs, do something good for other people, travel outside the country, buy your favorite clothing, eat ice cream and there are thousand different ways to motivate yourself. Make sure that you don’t overspend your money.

Change the color of your room, decorate your office or cubicle, try to do new things that you’ve never done before and like I said, there are thousand of ways to do it.

Use good perfume/cologne, believe me, you will feel a lot better when you smell good, that’s why they make aroma therapy stuff. Have you dated someone who never takes a shower? It’s really hard to motivate ourselves to kiss or do anything else with that person. Dress up and try to look good, when you look good, you feel good. Read inspirational books and listen to inspirational tapes/CDs.

When your job is not exciting anymore, well maybe it is time to move to a different one. If your business is not as exciting as before, you may want to think about building a different business. Think of it as a new challenge, new challenges that make life fun and exciting.

“What ever you are willing to walk away from, it will make a difference in your life.” So, hang in there, be strong and be a good courage!

I want to end this article by sharing this Bible verse with you, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

© Copyright 2006 http://www.Pebden.com, Author: Entjik Jeffrie, CEO of Pebden.com, All Rights Reserved.

Quiz — Are You Creative?

Worried you may not be creative or you may not be creative
enough? This quiz will help you find out just how creative
you are.

Take a piece of paper and number it from one to seven. For
each question, write down the corresponding letter of your
answer.

1. When you come across a rose, you immediately:

A. Smell it.
B. Quote every rose poem you can remember.
C. Write your own poem.
D. Sketch the rose.
E. Step on the rose.

2. One of your dreams in life is to:

A. Write a novel.
B. Become a painter.
C. Travel the world.
D. Climb all the famous mountains.
E. Just once, get everything done on your to-do list.

3. Your desk:

A. You have trouble finding as it’s buried under everything
including the kitchen sink.
B. Resembles a natural disaster.
C. Is a bit of a mess, but you know where everything is.
D. Is basically neat — you use the stacking method.
E. Is in perfect order — everything in its place.

4. The person you admire most is:

A. Einstein.
B. Walt Disney.
C. Your mother.
D. Jane Austin.
E. Anyone who can get everything crossed off his or her
to-do list.

5. You consider yourself:

A. Extremely creative.
B. Creative.
C. Somewhat creative.
D. A little creative.
E. About as creative as a turnip (come to think about it,
turnips may be more creative then you are).

6. You get new ideas:

A. All the time.
B. Several times a week.
C. Several times a month.
D. Once or twice a month.
E. You dimly recall getting a new idea when Clinton was in
office. Or maybe it was the first Bush.

7. You dream in:

A. Color.
B. Black and white.
C. Both black and white and color.
D. You can’t remember now.
E. Nothing. You don’t dream.

Scoring:

Throw out all your answers except for number five — “You
consider yourself:”. If you answered:

A. Extremely creative — Then you’re extremely creative.
B. Creative — Then you’re creative.
C. Somewhat creative — Then you’re somewhat creative.

D. A little creative — Then you’re a little creative.
E. About as creative as a turnip — Then you’re about as
creative as a turnip.

Okay, this was a bit of a trick. But it’s true. How creative you
think you are corresponds with how creative you really are.

A couple of studies illustrate this. A big company wanted to
increase creativity in its employees. So it hired a group of
consultants to come in. The consultants started by
thoroughly testing all of the employees. They discovered the
only difference between the employees who were creative
and those who weren’t was this: Creative people believed
they were creative and less creative people believed they
weren’t.

Even more telling was what happened to the group that
wasn’t creative. The consultants focused on helping them
nurture their creativity. At the end, those employees were
actually more creative than the ones who had initially
considered themselves creative.

And that means you too can become more creative. In fact,
how creative you become is entirely in your own hands.

Creativity Exercise — Assumptions

Ready to become more creative? Here’s an exercise.

Write down all the reasons why you’re not creative. Go on.
Write them all down. Every negative reason you can think of.

Things like:

I’ve never been creative in my life.

I haven’t had a new idea in over a year.

I don’t have time to be creative.

Now reverse those negative assumptions and make them
positive. Like so:

I am a creative person.

I have lots of new ideas all of time.

I don’t need time to be creative because I already am
creative.

Do this every day and see what happens. This is a great
way to start getting rid of those inner demons that keep all of
us from realizing our true potential.

Michele Pariza Wacek owns Creative Concepts and
Copywriting, a writing, marketing and creativity agency. She
offers two free e-newsletters that help subscribers combine
their creativity with hard-hitting marketing and copywriting
principles to become more successful at attracting new
clients, selling products and services and boosting
business. She can be reached at
http://www.writingusa.com.

Write Your Way To Creativity!

Today I laid out on my raft and someone had their stereo on really loud and it was FANTASTIC! We ate at the Revolving Restaurant. We threw the frisbee on the beach tonight. Tomorrow, we leave.

This is a passage from a journal I kept when I was sixteen years old. This entry was written while I was on a summer vacation with my family. Those simple written words are priceless to me. Most likely, I would not be able to recall the events of my younger years so clearly without the help of my journals. I enjoy reading them because it is fun to be reminded of thoughts, feelings and experiences of years gone by. I also like to see how my thoughts, my handwriting and my writing skills have evolved over the years.

Keeping a journal is a simple thing to do. Anyone can do it. Maybe you are sitting there thinking that you do not like to write so you would never choose to keep a journal. Well, guess what? Writing daily in a journal can become one of your favorite past times once you discover how rewarding and easy it can be.

A journal is uniquely yours. No one can create a journal for you and it is something that no one else has to know about. There are many benefits that come from keeping a daily journal. It can serve as a lifelong record of the events in your life or help you improve your writing and your critical thinking skills. Daily writing can also be therapeutic while connecting you more strongly with your ability to be creative.

Julia Cameron discusses how daily writing can lead to a more creative life in her book The Artist’s Way. She recommends writing three pages of freewriting every
day. Freewriting is simply writing down the exact thoughts you are having without censorship. If the only thing you can think of to write is “I can’t think of anything to write” then you would write that over and over until some other thoughts or feelings begin to form within your mind. The purpose of freewriting daily is to purge unproductive thoughts out of your mind each day. Ms. Cameron refers to the process as “Brain Drain.” Our daily routines often absorb all of our time and energy. This leaves little room for creativity. As some of the issues of life are worked through on paper, we are in a better position to be in touch with the creative part which is often buried by the busyness of life.

The process of freewriting daily also teaches you to ignore your censor. Censor is that voice that beats you down and makes you feel like you are not capable of doing what you are trying to do. The goal is to continue writing non stop even though that voice in your head may be trying to fill your mind with negative thoughts about yourself and what you are writing. As you learn to overpower this negative voice that tries to hold you back while you are writing, you will learn to overcome this little negative voice in other aspects of your life as well. During the process, you become more open to your creative self. If you already consider yourself to be creative, the daily freewriting will enhance your creativity even more.

I go through times in my life when I do not write every day. Whenever I pick up that pen and paper up and start up my daily writing again, it never fails that within a week or two of starting the writing process, I have a strong urge to sit down and play my very neglected piano. Music is a wonderful way to express creativity! I also feel more energized and I find myself thinking more productively. I have learned that freewriting on a daily basis does have a magical ability to connect me with my creativity.

So, what is the best way to get started? Natalie Goldberg, author of Writing Down the Bones, suggests that you buy a fast writing pen because our thoughts are usually faster than the hand. It takes longer to write with a pencil than it does with a good pen armed with a slick tip. After you find the perfect pen for you, Ms Goldberg also suggests that you pick out a journal that suits your personality. There are all kinds of different options for journals. My preference is the standard composition book because it is easy to write on the front and back of each page. Also, they are very economical and easy to store. Once you start writing, do not worry about staying in the lines and following the margins. Also, this is a time when spelling, punctuation and sentence structure simply do not matter. No one is going to read your private journal. Many of your sentences may only be fragments. This is perfectly acceptable. Actually it is good because this approach allows you to get more thoughts out on the paper.

If you set a standard time to write in your journal, you are more likely to establish writing as a habit in your life. I like to write in my journal right after I wake up each morning. It only takes me twenty minutes to write three full pages. If morning is not a good time for you, choose a time that works best for you. Just make sure that you have no interruptions so your thoughts can flow freely onto the paper. It is best to keep your journal private. This gives you more freedom to write the things that you really want to write without the fear of being judged or ridiculed.

Even if you have no desire to enhance your creativity, you may want to consider writing in a journal to record the events of your life. As I mentioned before, I love to read my old journals when the need for nostalgia hits me. It is amazing how much of our past we forget as we get older. Your daily journals are something that will connect you with a part of you that you may have forgotten even existed. Even though I have no desire to relive the years of my past, I am grateful that I have journal entries which connect me with that young lady who lived years ago. I’m am always a little sad when I read the last entry of a journal and I wish that I had kept on writing. It is so interesting to go back and read words that you wrote in your younger years. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes it is sad. No matter what, the words you write now can become priceless keepsakes in the years to follow.

I challenge you to experiment with freewriting in a journal. Try this for three weeks and see if you can tell a difference in your life. It only takes three weeks to form a habit, so
if journal writing is something that works for you, it is likely that after three weeks, you will be hooked. Journal writing can serve as powerful tool to improve your life. There
is so much to be gained from the process for such minimal effort. Enhance creativity, improve writing skills, improve critical thinking skills and create a permanent record of
your life in a way that no one else can. There is no risk involved and you have so much to gain. If nothing else, years later, when you happen to stumble on what you have written, you will be glad that you did. Also, I promise you that you will wish that you had written even more.

(c) 2005 Beverly Keaton Smith

Beverly Keaton Smith, CPCC owns and operates Embrace Your Gifts and Soar! She is a certified life coach who offers individual life coaching, group coaching, workshops and retreats to women who are ready to discover and embrace their unique gifts so they can live more athentically and joyfully. She is also co-author of The Book of Druthers. To learn more, see http://www.embraceyourgifts.com

Being Childless - The Road To Happiness

I’m childless. There, that’s out of the way. I’m not able to have children, not by
choice but by circumstance.

In my late teens and early twenties I desperately wanted children. I’d grown up
emotionally abused, and I thought that having a child would give me something that
I could love that was all mine. I wanted a football team!

When we are insecure within ourselves we look to outside sources to ‘complete’ us
such as relationships, children, work, or even volunteer commitments.

When women/couples cannot have children they can feel invalidated as a
relationship, and often marriages will fail because of the lack of children. If two
people cannot commit to each other without children, then there’s usually not much
hope for a long-term relationship.

When a woman cannot have a child, such as myself, you can feel such overwhelming
grief at the time that it can be all consuming. You’ll usually go through all sorts of
tests, procedures, invasions of intimate and personal space in order to try and have
a child.

There are many processes for the infertile. There is IVF, adoption, foster care,
permanent care placements or even surrogacy in some countries.

What do you do though, if, despite this overwhelming grief, sense of loss, and
desire to have a child, you start to ask if it is all worth it?

What do you do if you realise that you don’t have that driving desperation to have a
child? You still have the hurt, the pain and loss, but you feel as if you should be
feeling more ‘desperation?’

There isn’t any magic answer. Each woman is unique in her determination to have a
child of her own. I’ve met many women who have gone through immense personal
sacrifice to have a child and they’ve had either the most tragic or joyous outcomes.

Women who are infertile and cannot have a child have to at some point in their life
become comfortable with this. There is no defining moment, no set point at which
this happens, but it must happen for a woman to start to heal her pain and move on
with her life, for there is life without children, and it can be a great life.

Life without children is not the scary movie scenario that women think it is. It’s not
when they turn into hags and become the scary old lady down the street.

Life without children means not being tied down to schedules, not being tied down
to school holidays, car pooling for sports, extra curricular activities and the like.
You are free to pursue your own life, work and leisure activities.

You get to be the favourite Aunt.

You have time to do the things you want, when you want.

You get to hog all the easter eggs if you want. You get to eat that block of
chocolate all by yourself. You don’t have to structure your working life around
school timetables. You don’t have to volunteer for canteen duty. You can take an
arts class, do yoga, go to university, travel and do any damn thing you want to.

Yes, being childless has it’s advantages. Many would say also that it’s lonely, you
grow old alone and your name doesn’t get passed on through the generations.

Big deal.

It took me about ten years to understand that not having children was a blessing. I
saw so many of my friends complain about their lives. I’ve seen so much abuse of
children around me by parents who didn’t really stop to think about what a child
needed, or why they had the child in the first place. If I had the opportunity, I
probably would not have a child now, knowing what I know now, I know that my life
is richer and freer for not having children, and that I am a more well rounded,
developed and secure individual for it.

It doesn’t take the hurt, pain and sense of loss away, which may sound like a
contradiction, but for women out there who have lived with their infertility and
childlessness for years, they’ll understand where it comes from.

Enjoy being childless. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Go out there and make something
of your life. You’ve been given an opportunity to be a free spirit without the
constraints of the school bell.

Your life is an open book and only you know how many pages there are to turn.
Each page brings new challenges and chapters in your life to explore and being
childless needn’t be the end, but only the beginning of your voyage of self-
discovery. Who knows, you might actually like discovering who YOU are.

Creative Communities – Why A Life Of Creativity Needn’t Be Lonely

Being someone who is highly creative and consistently brave enough to seek new ways of tapping into that creativity can sometimes feel like a lonely venture.

After all, the majority of people in our world are not actively like this, or encouraged to be so. Each of us has the potential to be amazingly creative, but due to a whole host of factors, most of us would rather just fit in, “keep a low profile” and conform to what we think will be a quiet life.

So for those of us that choose not to be just one of the crowd, who know that we have something unique within us to offer the world and are committed to nurturing our creativity and a creative way of life, where does that leave us?

Often, it may leave us feeling like an outsider. Following our true selves may make us feel unconventional, or “different” to the accepted face and profile of the masses.

Sometimes we may think that even our closest family and friends, as supportive and loving as they may be, somehow just don’t “get” us and what we’re trying to do with our creativity.

We may feel isolated, alone, and wonder why we choose to be like this. We may begin to consider whether it would be better to get a nice predictable job after all and live in a semi-detached house in suburbia, with 2.4 children and 1.4 cars…

If you find yourself in his position, stop for a moment to remember those in history who were brave enough to follow their creativity and explore where their ideas led them.

Think of Einstein, Da Vinci, Newton, Edison, Shakespeare, Mozart. Our world today would surely be a poorer place without their pioneering creative work.

Although it takes great courage to listen to yourself, trust your own judgement and follow what you believe is right, none of the people above truly did it on their own.

Each had their own teachers, mentors and heroes. Each had colleagues and peers, a close network of people around them to encourage them, stimulate them and share ideas with.

So what can YOU do to provide yourself with the support you need for your creativity in times of doubt?

Fortunately, in the information age we live in today, it’s easier than ever to find like-minded people who share similar visions, ideas and interests.

On a local level, virtually all towns and cities have adult education classes and courses. There are clubs, groups and
associations of all kinds in every community. You could even start your own…

Through your local library or bookshop you have access to many books and magazines on the subjects you love. Often just reading a book by someone who expresses the same passions and pains that you do can be very comforting and
highly inspiring.

Then on a wider scale, there’s the internet. Spending just an hour or two using a good search engine can bring up an dozens of websites, forums, groups, ezines and blogs all highly relevant and interesting to you and your creative passions.

So what’s stopping you? Set aside an hour or so over the next few days to begin to build your own support network.

Write a particular interest you have in the centre of a large blank piece of paper and brainstorm all the ways you could find other people who share a similar passion to you.

You don’t have to come up with exact details at this stage, you may not even know the tip of what’s out there.

Ideas such as “go to library to research local writing groups” and “search on internet under ‘garden design forum’” are great ways to get you started.

You could see it as an ongoing creative project in itself, that of finding like minded people who can offer each other support, inspiration and ideas in their particular field.

There’s a whole living thriving creative community out there that’s just right for you. Go create it today…

© Copyright 2006 Dan Goodwin.

Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin is the author of “Create Create!”, a FREE twice monthly ezine for people who want simple and powerful articles, tips and exercises to help them unleash their creative talents. Sign up right now and get your FREE “Explode Your Creativity!” Action Workbook, at http://www.CoachCreative.com

Three Keys to Good Health

When we pray, as Jesus taught us, we are to come to God, “Our
Father,” as a little child. Through Jesus’ redemption on the
cross, He bought us back from the paradise of intimacy with Him
lost by Adam, restored our communication with God, and made us
co-inheritors of the Kingdom of God! Therefore, we can access
the Father in the Name of Jesus and ask “our” Daddy anything we
want, and He will give it to us! (John 15) Our Daddy is full of
promises for all of us to live an abundant, healthy life. He
cares for you as He cares for me.

One thought that comes to mind: if He loves you so much that He
sent His Son to die for you, then how much should we love one
another? He IS Love! He wants you to walk and talk with Him as
you would with your best friend. He is a jealous God. He loves
it when you come to Him with all your problems and issues. After
all, He is the only one who can!

Three Promises to take to heart are:

“…attend to my words; incline your ear unto my sayings. Let
them not depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your
heart. ..They are life unto those that find them, and health to
all their flesh.” Proverbs 4: 18-22),

“faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.” (Romans
10:17), and

” prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.” (3 John
2).

Read, Listen, and Do

Health does not just come by wishing or hoping for it. The Bible
is truth. Isn’t it wonderful to know we have someone we can rely
on! The First Commandment tells us to “love the Lord your God
with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might!
I still vividly recall the day I first learned that in Grade 6.
I remember thinking how impossible it would be to love someone
you do not know and cannot see! But He “read’ those thoughts I
had so long ago and quietly, gradually brought me to the point
where I not only found Him and learned about Him, but came to
know and love Him intimately. And, that was by first inviting
Jesus Christ to be Lord over my life. He teaches that when you
know Him, you also know the Father (Mat. 14:7,9). It is
important to read the Bible, meditate on it, and honor God by
doing what it tells you to do. This is not an overnight
quick-fix. Learning the Word, listening to anointed teachings,
and asking the Holy Spirit to guide and instruct you in all
things is the way to come to know and love God. When the words
are allowed to sink deeply into your heart daily then, according
to Proverbs 4:23: “the issues of life” will literally flow out
of you. In other words, the Word will become such an integral
part of you that when you are confronted with disaster of any
kind, the Holy Spirit will bring to your memory Healing
Scriptures to speak into that situation. Verses pertaining to
peace, healing, or whatever that situation requires will burst
out of you and healing will follow - according to your faith.

The wonderful thing about faith is that it grows! One day you
may have a sore throat and see it healed miraculously before
your eyes! Guess what. The next time you have a bigger problem,
or someone asks you to pray for their sore throat, you will find
your faith is there to meet the challenge!