What Can Be Changed In Management To Improve Bottom Line Results?

If you don’t have the full support and understanding of key management positions, any organizational changes being made are going to be thwart with difficulties. It is up to CEOs and Presidents to champion the cause and ensure their managerial teams are also in full support, so that it can filter down through the ranks more smoothly.

It is not enough to merely hand a list of problems and preferred outcomes or objectives to a managerial team and expect them to go ahead and get to work on it. They, too, need guidelines and guidance, reassurance, and training. Many Managers get to where they are through natural progression up the corporate ladder, climbing their way on their years of experience. But this doesn’t mean they know how to manage. The Manager of the Sales Department may be an excellent Sales Person himself and know how to train his staff in successful sales techniques and strategies, but as a manager of people and an organizational change expert, he may well be out of his depth. The same can be said for many managers in many different departments.

All the brilliant change plans in the world will fail if those who are responsible for the action have no idea what they are doing and possibly, don’t believe in what they are doing. So the first step is ensuring the managerial teams understand what changes are being made and why, and what outcomes are being sought and why. They then need training in the best methodologies for introducing the new systems to their own departments. This requires a whole set of skills many managers lack, simply because it has not been something they have been taught before. This includes people skills, communication skills, and negotiating skills.

But even if changes are not being introduced, Managers who want to improve the bottom line results of their departments need these same skills. By now it is a well known fact that a happy workforce is a productive workforce. Happy workers who enjoy a high morale and feel good about their employer, take more pride in their work and wish to see “their” company succeed. They look after the customers better. They take less sick leave. They’re find more efficient ways of doing things. They participate more. They work harder. This is good news for any company’s bottom line.

The Manager in charge of this type of workforce is one who knows how to listen to his staff. He respects his staff and their abilities. He asks his staff for their input and promotes a team spirit. He cares about the individuals in his department and realizes that their individual success in a team environment results in success for the company. He knows how to handle trouble-makers and grizzlers and convert them into happy, productive employees. He understands the process of coaching and mentoring those in his care to produce the best results. He is clear with his instructions, and does not play the Dictator role. He does not waste his time looking over shoulders. Instead, he is available for his staff to bring challenges to for discussion and resolution.

Learning to listen, observe, trust, guide and coach employees is not something that miraculously occurs when somebody is promoted to a Managerial position. It is up to the Company to assist their Managers by providing training for them, enabling them to be effective Coach-Mentor-Managers.

Too often, when a department is seen to be in trouble, blame is laid at the departmental Manager or Supervisor’s door. Really, there is no excuse for a company putting somebody in a position of authority when they are ill equipped to handle it. This is a problem that will recur until organizations realize that managing people is not a natural ability inherited with a managerial title. Resources are available to train Organizational management teams, and often, all it takes is a phone call to put it into action.

Stop Managing, Start Coaching!
How to Make Your Employees HAPPY and PRODUCTIVE So They Help Your Business PROSPER and THRIVE

Terri Levine coaches businesses of all sizes who want to achieve more success through her methods. Terri is a nationally recognized authority on creating greater business and personal success and regularly appears in a variety of media. She specializes in using Comprehensive Coaching principles to create extraordinary growth for her clients’ businesses. She provides workshops, coaching and keynotes around the world and is passionate about sharing coaching tools to create a new management model. This book provides proven ways to dramatically increase employee morale and retention, including how to create greater productivity - and profitability! Learn a process that will get great results in a company of any size.

This book will teach you:

How to lower employee turnover;
How to appreciate what employees want and how to reward them;
How to use solid tactics to boost morale fast; and,
How to take mediocre employees and create high power performance work teams
Stop Managing, Start Coaching! will shift your company culture from managing employees to truly changing employee behavior.

http://www.terrilevine.com/Books.html

Written by Terri Levine, MCC, PCC, MS, CCC-SLP, the Founder of Comprehensive Coaching – The Professional’s Coach Training Program, a popular Master Certified personal and business Coach, sought after Public Speaker, and Author of bestsellers “Stop Managing, Start Coaching”, “Work Yourself Happy”, “Coaching for an Extraordinary Life” and “Create Your Ideal Body”. She can be contacted via the web site http://www.TerriLevine.com or by telephone: 215-699-4949.

Considering Becoming A Life Coach?

As life coaching is gaining popularity, so is interest in becoming a life coach. Many people love the idea of working for themselves and being in a profession that helps others. If you are thinking about becoming a life coach, there are several factors you need to consider.

First, decide what type of life coach you want to become. The word “life” covers a lot of territory so life coaches tend to specialize in specific areas. These areas include career and finance, goal setting, relationships, weight loss/fitness and drugs and alcohol, just to name a few.

What is your passion and how do you want to inspire others to create success in their lives?
When thinking about what type of life coach you want to be, examine your career, education and life experience to find your current strengths.

Once you have an idea of what area you want to focus on, consider what a life coach does. This is tricky because there is no one definition or universal standard so several interpretations exist. You need to develop a format in which you will teach successful actions to your clients.

A qualified life coach can break down goals into manageable, easier to confront steps while showing the client effective techniques for completing them. Just knowing what and how is not enough because clients often get in their own way. The life coach will evaluate their progress and motivate them to implement a plan with consistent action to actually achieve desired results. Before you begin on this path, know that there is a difference between understanding what to do and being able to get someone to do it.

There are three essential elements involved in becoming a life coach and they are training, skills and education. When it comes to training, there are many life coaching academies that offer courses and some even offer accreditation. Many of these courses have actual and practical value. Please note that there is no federal or state agency that has an accreditation for life coaching and schools offering degrees are self-accredited.

If you are considering taking any of these courses first look into the costs involved. Often an inexpensive introductory course is offered only to get you started. Since costs can add up quickly, check into the length of time, the number of additional courses required and make sure to get referrals from other students. Another important point to check for first is whether or not the school provides adequate tools for practical application when working with clients. This will be very helpful for beginners in developing step-by-step methods for life coaching.

There are a few key skills that are absolutely essential. For starters, you need to be a good listener, a creative problem solver and have considerable knowledge of human behavior. You need to be able to set goals and develop plans of action to actualize them. Life coaching requires that you are organized and can keep meticulous attention to detail to monitor weekly results.

Patience and the ability to deal with frustration are critical. Clients don’t always do what they agree to do and getting people to suddenly give up destructive behavior patterns can be a real challenge. You need to know how to motivate and be creative in overcoming obstacles and objections. You have to really like and care about people. You must also be able to accept failure as not all clients will change. There are a few more skills involved but these are fundamental.

A life coach should love education in order to stay informed of current advances and trends. The areas that require consistent study are psychology, goal setting, motivation, cognitive psychology, cognitive science, human behavior, habits of successful people, sleep patterns, relationships, business principles, principles of success, career development, drugs, alcohol, leadership, sales and more. A life coach is a relentless student of these subjects.

Life coaching is a proactive approach to resolving obstacles in an individual’s life and it requires a clear picture of not only why and how, but also of step-by-step implementation and the ability to resolve blocks and setbacks as they come up. You’ll need to combine these factors into a working platform to assist your clients in reaching their goals.

Finally, when you are ready to start life coaching, how are you going to get clients? The idea of working for yourself and helping people may sound great, and it is but it comes with its difficulties. You are not going to simply get business cards made then start filling your appointment book. Schools offering great careers as life-coaches will only be able to give you limited assistance in getting clients. After you spend your time and money either with a life coaching school or developing your own style of life coaching it will be up to you to get clients. You are one hundred percent responsible for your income and success.

You should enjoy networking and self-promoting. You can build a clientele through friends, networking groups, placing ads, professional relationships, and whatever other creative ways you can think of. As you get clients and earn a reputation, your business will grow through referrals. All this takes time, so be prepared.

As you are developing your business, you will have to overcome the obstacle of people questioning what a life coach does. Be prepared by asking yourself why someone would pay you to advise him or her and have a good answer. The answer you develop to that question will be the foundation for your success.

After considering all of these factors, if you decide to become a life coach you will be entering a dynamic field. Being able to actually help people create the life changes they want is a highly rewarding and exciting career. You’ll be helping others gain success while creating your own!

As a life coach, Devlyn has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called “Tools To Life” and “Love beat” and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as “America’s Leading Life-Coach.” For free E-books and more information visit DevlynSteele.com Send Questions To: CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com.

Got Creative Imagination Yet?

Navel, Belly-Button, and Umbilicus

1. For the past 2,500 years Buddhists have taught students that their center-of-gravity is located in a region just two-inches below the navel. Focusing your attention on your belly-button, also called your umbilicus and abdomen, centers us mentally as well as physically, and offers us the competitive-edge in learning and career.

In Zen training - using your Hara – Japanese for stomach – is critical. Zen Masters
teach you must - visualize, breathe, and act - from your Hara. The navel is the
center for ordering our mind and body; learning, memory and imagination occur
here.

2. The Hara is also the center for personal growth and healing. It is the locus of the powers of a human being, beyond a physical location. To use our Hara for personal-improvement requires study and practice in focus and concentration.

Two points to remember: the Hara responds to the color – Yellow, and
gently touching your navel three-times daily develops a physical and mental
acuity. Many Japanese scholars teach the use of the Hara for intuition and financial success.

Some esoteric teachings train students in reading the mind of their opponent through focusing their Hara.

3. While meditating for relaxation, touching our navel creates a powerful centering
of our efforts through directed attention on our center-of-gravity. Westerners
tend to be top-heavy – focusing on their shoulders – and are shallow-breathers.

Meditating on our navel magnifies personal-power, while straight posture enhances diaphragmatic breathing. Our goal is to expand the amount of oxygen we inhale, increase the production of glucose (energy), and eliminate the optimal amount of
carbon dioxide.

We suggest you Google - Zen training, and hara – for specific meditation procedures.

Stressbuster

4. Can you imagine yourself enclosed in a huge ten-foot bubble? Yes, you can breathe comfortably, and see lucidly because it is transparent. See your mental-bubble directly connected to your body at the navel. It is the link to your mental-
visualizations and your emotions and feelings.

Remember seeing Star-Trek and their Force-Field used to protect the Enterprise from enemy attack? Now you got one, and your Stressbuster-Bubble is your
personal defense against anxiety, panic, anger and chronic-stress.

It is bullet-proof and shields you from the negativity of your environment. Inside of your Stressbuster-Bubble are pure peace, celestial calmness, deep relaxation, and left and right brain consciousness.

5. Chronic stress bounces off your bubble, powerless to affect you, while inside, your
mind is active and creative; you are enveloped in love by pure-spirit. Whenever you choose to enter your bubble realm, you are as safe as a baby in its
mothers arms, and protected from all external pain, stress, and danger.

Here is the science of it – your subconscious cannot distinguish between reality,
virtual-reality or mental-visualizations. What appears consistently and emotionally
on the movie-screen of your mind – with your intent to appear in your environment – is a target-affirmation, a command from you – the ultimate programmer.

Your subconscious cannot question its programming, it exists to fulfill your
orders – if given in the proper code – and acts as your computer.

Back to your readily available Stressbuster-Bubble: when you go for an interview,
make an important presentation, sit for an entrance exam, or meet your significant-other at the beginning of a relationship – wrap yourself in love and grace.

6. Sounds crazy, but what if it works to turn you into Superman/Superwoman?
Be a scientist and create your own experiment.
Use the power of your Hara – (navel), to open your center your gravity to success
in relationships, finances and career.

One last point – include in your Stressbuster-Bubble the people you are communicating with at the particular time. If you are taking an interview or making
a presentation to your team, or on a date – wrap those folks in your bubble.

You will be amazed and delighted at the reaction of people to you when you psychological include them in your Hara-directed bubble.

7. We have offered this strategy to our graduates, and received accolades from CEOs, graduate-students, and professionals. Graduate celebrities tell us they value the Stressbuster-Bubble second only to speed reading itself.

Mysteries are scary only because they are associated with the unknown.
Use your bubble for thirty-days and you will notice the difference in your
sense of security, reduction in stress, and success in your personal relations.

Can you recall your initial fear in learning to drive a car, scan the Net,
and type with your word-processor? It took practice and trial-and-error, but
soon you were comfortable on the road, typing and using your computer.

The same thing applies to speed reading and anything new you try – in the beginning there is both disbelief and frustration.

After 21 days of just 15 minutes daily speed reading practice – you can triple your reading speed, double your memory, and read and remember three books, articles and reports, compared to your original – one.

This is a major competitive-advantage that places you on the fast-track – if you are willing to start – it is your choice.

Consider the multitude of benefits in relieving chronic stress, and showing your
echt (authentic, genuine and real) self to people in your environment.

You are on the verge of a major breakthrough, if you choose to take the
Stressbuster-Bubble strategy and use it.

See ya,

copyright© 2006
H. Bernard Wechsler
www.speedlearning.org
hbw@speedlearning.org

The Path Out of Denial

Ellen is the “other woman”. She thinks she is getting married soon because her “boyfriend” tells her every day that he will leave his wife and kids any day now so he can marry her. He has been promising this for two years, and it hasn’t happened. Yet she won’t leave him because she loves him.

Her friends tell her to let go of this guy. He is a rat and she doesn’t deserve that. She can’t see their point of view. To her, he is the most wonderful man on Earth and they are so in love!

She says he is good to her and he respects her because he visits her a couple of times a week so they can be intimate. Then he tells her he loves her and he leaves.

He gets jealous whenever she dates someone else. She thinks that’s cute and waits around for him to call her – every night.

She is getting anxious. It’s been two years since this started and she can’t wait any longer for him to tell his wife that he is leaving her. Ellen is positive that he will bring the kids to live with them when they get married. She doesn’t have kids and is excited about this.

Kristin is a friend of Ellen’s. She is disgusted by this behavior. In fact, she and Ellen have not seen each other in several months because Ellen is afraid that if she leaves her house, her boyfriend will call or come over and she won’t be there. Kristin is sick about this situation.

She loves Ellen but thinks she is living in denial. She knows the boyfriend will never leave his family. Ellen tells her that he and his wife don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. Kristin is sure that’s not true, because her sister works with the wife and the wife never says anything bad about the husband. They seem to have a good relationship, according to her sister. Whenever Kristin tells Ellen this, Ellen tells her she is wrong. Her boyfriend said so and he would never lie to her. It’s not in his nature to lie.

We all know someone who lives in denial. They live by their wishful thinking for so long that it becomes a reality to them. This seems to be more common for women than for men. The hard part for them is to face the truth and start looking at the reality of the situation.

How do they do that? In Ellen’s case, it would involve looking at past history in her relationship and figuring out the odds of her boyfriend really leaving his family. She says it’s not in his nature to lie, however, he is lying to his wife. This would be one of several avenues to explore. She could use coaching or therapy from a professional to guide her through this process.

The next step for Ellen would be to go through a series of questions relating to her satisfaction in life and her happiness. Then she could look at how satisfied she is with this relationship. If it turns out that she is happy with this situation, that it’s other situations in her life that make her unhappy, then she would work on those situations and keep the relationship as it is. (Yes, it is surprising that any woman would put up with that kind of behavior from herself or from any man, but many do. This is a common situation, believe it or not.)

If it turns out that she is unhappy with the relationship, then she would need to find a solution to that situation. Hopefully, that would include a solution that is in the best interest of everyone involved, meaning the wife and children, too.

As long as Ellen lives in denial, though, the situation will remain the same. The chances of her boyfriend leaving his wife for her are very few if he doesn’t really want to leave his wife. (Of course, that relationship also needs help if he is seeing another woman.)

We all have different perceptions of our life situations because we all have different life experiences. What one person deems sickening, another sees as wonderful. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to…

Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn’t mean listening to yourself talk. It means listening to your SELF-TALK.

It’s quite true that anger is created from within. No matter how much you say—“She made me mad!” “It makes me so mad when…”—the anger comes from YOU, not it or she.

Our thoughts about “it” or “she” is actually where the anger comes from. And by changing our thinking we can change the way we feel (for example, instead of angry or enraged, annoyed or irritated..)

Doesn’t it make sense, then, if anger is created from within that we have the power from within to keep from getting angry? The answer is a definitive YES.

By adjusting how you think about a situation, to listen your self-talk, is how you keep yourself from getting mad—period.

How? By listening for demands. What are demands? They’re easy to spot. They tend to express themselves in words such as SHOULD, ought, must, have-to, need.

Depending upon the context and situation, when these words or thoughts are used they will create anger.

Whether you use them on someone or someone is using them on you, a sense of anger, rage or mad evolves from these words/thoughts of demand when things don’t go your way.

There are numerous examples of how this is true, but here is a simple one that most everyone can relate to:

You’re driving in rush-hour traffic, late to get home. Another driver cuts you off, almost hitting you, so he can run a yellow light that actually is quite red by the time he runs it—leaving you stopped at the light and cursing the driver as he speeds away.

Your immediate thoughts are: “What an idiot! People like that shouldn’t be allowed to drive!! He’s an accident waiting to happen. They ought to lock him up!!”

The word –should- creates anger because of its demanding nature. Simply stated, the situation is history. Yet, by saying it shouldn’t happen you’re demanding that reality not exist as it does, lousy as it may seem. Bottom line: it happened as it should based upon all the events that led up to it happening.

Instead if you approach the situation without demands then your reaction will change appropriately. You may wish he didn’t drive that way, you may prefer it, but he’s driving that way…so don’t deny the reality of it!

It may be illegal, but it’s his choice to drive that way. You’d feel much better to accept it and not demand anything to the contrary.

This works for anything in life. When you “should on somebody” you’re creating anger for yourself (or them) when it is totally un-necessary.

When you knock off the demands, shoulds and oughts, you’ll notice a difference. It would be nice if things always went the way you want them to go, but that isn’t reality, so become more tolerant by listening to your own thoughts and you’ll start to see anger withering away.

Dr. David L. Thomas, LMHC

About The Author

Dr. Thomas is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a practice in Tampa, FL. He has been counseling people to feel better for over 21 years. This article is posted at www.stressgroup.com. He is also the co-author of Quit Smoking-Be Happy!—see www.quitsmoking-behappy.com to learn more.

How To Have High Self Esteem Around Negative People: 3 Key Steps

A reader recently wrote and asked me this question: “How can a person have high self esteem when living with the negative energy of a partner? How can one keep oneself strong or respond differently?”

My response documents 3 key steps to take that we can all use to help improve any dysfunctional interactions.

Firstly I would say that if there is any abusive or violent nature to your situation then you must seek professional help - either as a couple or at least just for you alone. You don’t deserve to experience this and a professional counselor can definitely help.

From the little I know so far, here is my response, I hope it helps you.

I would approach this in 3 ways.

1. Breaking “The More, The More” pattern
2. “Taking the wind out of the sails”
3. Creating a personal linked negative-to-positive state change

Step 1. Breaking “The More, The More” pattern.

There is usually a reactive loop to these situations - especially so in close partner-relationships and longer term relationships.

Over time, we learn to ‘react’ in a certain way to the other person and it is difficult to change. It becomes an automatic, pre-programmed responses.

Eventually this escalates, and so “the more the other person does ‘X’ (something specific)”, “the more I do ‘Y’ (my specific response)” and “The more I do ‘Y’ … the more they do ‘X’ again …” and so on until one feels like exploding.

We must find a way to break this vicious circle.

Without placing the ‘blame’ on you, here is something to consider: “For things to change, first I must change”. This seems to be a philosophy you are OK with given that you are asking for advice on “how to respond differently”.

So we are going to change your automatic response to your mate’s negative energy.

I want you to imagine that your partner, along with their most annoying/upsetting/frustrating negative energy are up on a theater stage in front of you, behind a pair of curtains.

In a moment the curtains will open and you will see them behaving negatively (in the way that you want to change your reaction to).

But first you will decide how you will see/hear them differently.

When the curtains open, I want you to make them appear visually different (in your mind’s eye).

• Maybe tiny like a mouse ( = no power)

• Maybe in slow motion (= giving you time to think)

• Maybe constantly running around in circles confused ( = trivializing their approach)

• Maybe totally bright pink ( = you can’t associate this image of them with negativity)

Now hear them in your own mind differently.

• Maybe speaking all squeaky ( = they can’t possibly be serious)

• Maybe having difficulty getting words out, repeating themselves over again ( = losing power)

• Maybe yapping like a small dog ( = how ridiculous is this)

Your objective here is to make your perception of them so altered that it is no longer possible to have your normal automatic response.

This will give you a breather to be able to respond differently (Step 2)

OK, now practice the above, getting ready to open the curtains.

Now OPEN THE CURTAINS and notice how your response is already different.

You only have to ’scratch the record/CD’ a small amount for it to never play properly again. Your mind is the same.

Good. Let’s go to Step 2 and give you something to say.

Step 2. “Taking the wind out of the sails”

This step involves giving you something to say when asking for the negative behavior to stop.

Note: It is important to practice this step in private or (preferably) with a friend before using it.

You deserve to express your thoughts and feelings about this situation as it is clearly hurting you. It is also possible you may be able to help them see the negative results of their behavior.

It goes like this:

When ‘X’ happens (a typical negative interaction)
It makes me think and feel ‘Y’ (how you think and feel at the time)
I do not like having these thoughts and feelings
What I really want to think and feel is ‘B’ (how you wish to think and feel)

And what would help is for you to stop behaving like ‘Z’ (An optional extra, here is where you can describe their typical negative
behavior - or ‘energy’ as you say, if that describes it better for you)

Your objective is not to start an argument (For example; “You are really negative all the time”), but to make some assertive statements that both express your own thoughts and feelings and in your case, ask for the negativity to stop.

It would go something like this:

“When we are talking about where to go out for lunch, it always seems to end up in a heated negative debate about what we don’t like about each other.

It makes me think that you don’t like/love me any more and I feel really frustrated that we can’t be more positive about our lives.

I do not like having these thoughts and feelings.

What I really want to think about is how to make our life together better and I want to feel appreciated and loved.

(Optional) … And what would really help is for you to stop making negative comments about any suggestions I make, instead you could acknowledge my desires are important to me.”

Step 3. Creating a personal linked negative-to-positive state change

It is possible that even with Steps 1 & 2, you don’t initially get massive changes and indeed, you may even trigger a negative reaction from your mate. But stay with it.

What we need to do now is to help you to feel empowered, even if they take no notice of what you say initially.

This involves making an automatic link in your mind to go from a typical ‘disempowered state’ of yours to a stronger one.

So I’d like you now to think of a time when you have felt strong (not with your mate necessarily) and ‘on top of the world’. It may not have been recent, all that matters is that it was a strong feeling.

And in the event you have no memory of anything like this, feel free to make one up from ‘your ideal world’.

OK, now intensify this feeling in your mind and really identify with it. Practice feeling strong, just walking down the road, round the house, going shopping. Expect yourself to feel strong.

Good, now lets link this feeling to a specific ’switch word’ - one that has unique meaning to you. It might be a word like ‘Mountain’, ‘Diamond’, ‘Steel’, ‘Sunshine’, ‘Mighty-Me’. This word must be uniquely associated with the strong feeling you have created.

OK, now a brief revisit of the ‘disempowered state’ that you have felt around your mate. Just imagine you are feeling that ‘bad state’ now, if only very briefly and lightly. Now stop and ’shake it out’ (like shaking out sleep when you wake up in the morning).

Good, now feel the bad state again - and this time IMMEDIATELY SAY THE SWITCH WORD TO YOURSELF.

Do this at least 4 times - start with your most disempowered state and immediately say the word to yourself.

Do it until you are positive you can change your own state just by uttering the word.

Do not tell anyone else your word! It becomes your own personal and untouchable mantra of strength.

This skill alone will keep you strong when you really need it - it is called a one-step chained anchor if you want the technical term. I have used it myself many times in a particular situation (occasional apprehension before a big presentation) until now my ‘empowered state’ IS the new automatic response.

I hope this helps you. It may only take a small difference to help you change everything, so please please please practice practice practice.

© 2005, Robert Scanlon, selfesteemplus

Robert Scanlon is a corporate consultant, NLP Trainer, and the author of “Boost
Your Self Esteem To New Heights”, a free 21-day online Building

Self Esteem and
Self Confidence Course and 35-page eBook. You can sign up for the course at http://www.selfesteemplus.com/.

Coaching with the GROW Model

The GROW Model, devised by Sir John Whitmore, provides a framework both for individual coaching sessions and for the whole process. The acronym stands for Goals, Reality, Options and Will, also known as Wrap-up.

Goals – coach and client agree on specific objectives. This is vital in coaching – if you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else! The coach asks specific questions to make sure the goal is in the best interests of the client and those closest to them.

Reality – the client needs to have a realistic grasp of where they are now, where they are starting from. Is the desired objective a realistic goal – what are the chances of achieving it? Do they know someone else who has achieved this already?

Options – the coach guides the client in thinking of a number of ways of achieving the goal and the client decides which way to pursue. As the coach, you are not there to lead people, you are there to help them explore possibilities so they can decide which option is best for them.

Will/Wrap-up – the client will only be motivated to go for the goal if they are excited and motivated by it. Coach and client look at the possible obstacles and how these can be overcome. Is there a secondary gain in the client not achieving the goal? For instance, it may be more comfortable to remain in the current position than make the effort it takes to achieve the goal.

The GROW Model works because it ensures that there is nothing at the unconscious level which might prevent the client from going for the goal. It checks whether the goal fits in with the client’s capabilities and purpose in life, and establishes whether the client needs to change any current behaviours or get new skills in order to be successful.

Andy Britnell is an executive coach who works with high achievers in both the private and public sectors who wish to fulfil more of their potential by thinking and behaving more effectively.

Sign up for my FREE e-mail coaching and FREE monthly newsletter Grow and Learn at http://andybritnell.co.uk/

Information about my coaching services can be seen at http://executive-coaching-for-business-growth.com/

How Can You Change Your Life - Today?

At it’s most fundamental, your life is what happens to you between your birth and your death.

They say “life is what you make it”, but most
of us feel like victims in our lives, rather than the architects of them.
Accepting responsibility for our own lives is a very difficult but absolutely
essential first step in learning to take control our lives. Uncontrollable
events certainly can sweep us away now and then, and of course the final
event will sweep us all away at some point. But between now and then,
most of what happens in our lives - our careers, our progress towards
our dreams, our relationships, our health, our happiness, our spiritual
growth - are all down to us.

The Tyranny of Freedom

This should sound great - but for most of us it’s going to sound bleak.

Because we know all that stuff - in theory, at least.
Yet that isn’t the way our real lives are unfolding for us.
We may be in the wrong job, or the wrong career. We may live in a house
we hate, in a city we hate, on a continent with the wrong climate. We
may drive the wrong car, live with the wrong partner, live under the wrong
haircut, and in the wrong shaped body. AND IT’S ALL WEARING A BIT THIN!

The fact is that most of us exert poor control over the
events in our lives. We complain, but we don’t seem able to grab the wheel
and to steer ourselves in new directions.

As we grow older, we see the dreams fade. Some will smile
as they look back at the simple optimism and ideals of our youth. Others
will be a whole lot less philosophical about our decline.

The fact is that society doesn’t train us for the practicalities
of being successful (however we define that term). We’re taught that thinking
of our own wants is selfish. We shoulder big jobs and family responsibilities
which could well keep us tied up for a few decades. Somewhere along that
road, we lose the plot - we’re driven by events we set in train - the
mortgage, the kids, the job - and it’s tough to re-assert control.

Well, the good news is - all of this is exactly what your Life Coach is here to help you with.

A Compass, a Carrot and a Friend

Life Coaching is quite new - emerging in the 1990s in America.
Life has never been more complicated, and we all want more from
our lives. Life Coaching is an idea whose time as come.

A life coach is a professionally qualified person. You pay your coach
to help you move towards a better life. Exactly what that means is up
to you. You may come to your coach with very specific ideas about what
you want to change, or you may bring along a vague, woolly feeling that
life should be better. Your coach will have special tools and exercises
which will help you to assess the various facets of your life.

Perhaps you want to be writing a book, getting a better job, doing better
in the job you have, restoring a better balance between work and play,
worrying less - being happier, earning more money, gaining a promotion,
starting your own business, finding a new career, solving financial worries,
building a better relationship, finding a new relationship, building a
better body - smaller, larger, stronger, moving away from destructive
habits to become more healthy, making new friends and build a stunning
social life, taking up new hobbies, moving house, improving the house
you have, etc.

When you have your focus, the real work begins.

Usually, you spend time with your coach on the telephone. Sessions are
around 45 minutes, and they take place perhaps once a week. A coaching
relationship will generally last a minimum of four sessions, but real
breakthrough often happens around session six. There is no maximum duration,
and many successful coaching relationships will span years.

Your coach will work with you to clarify the situation and your goals.
Usually, you’ll pick a single major goal and work on that with your coach.

Together, you will clearly refine your goal, and make a detailed plan
to move you closer to that goal. Each week you will agree an action plan
with your coach, and between sessions, you will complete the action plan.

Inevitably, problems will arise and be addressed by you and your coach
together. (This is why coaching books can never be as good as the real
thing). Changes in the plan will be made. Your coach is trained to listen
very carefully to what you say; to find your self-limiting beliefs and
work with you on their removal. Your coach’s experience, training and
external perspective on your life are an extremely valuable asset to you
- this is the magic of life coaching. Your coach can untangle your confusion,
boost your confidence, build your motivation and your stamina, and keep
you actively focused on meeting your goals.

Together, you will find a way through to success.

An honours graduate of Electronics & computing, Chris Wesley is also a Professionally-qualified life coach, graduating with distinction from the UK’s largest caoching academy. He is also a business consultant and mentor, a freelance writer, and founder of http://www.LetsFixBritain.com. Prior to going freelance, Chris worked for 17 years in management positions for blue-chip multinationals, where he learned all about the successful real-world management of change, of people, strategies and budgets.

These days Chris divides his time between his various interests. His creativity and sense of humour combine with his extensive corporate experience to bring powerful resources to all of his clients.

If you would like to move your personal or professional life into a new era of power and happiness, contact Chris to explore possibilities or to arrange a consultation at http://www.uklifecoaching.org

The Unitive Approach To Personal And Professional Coaching

The unitive approach to coaching is not based on any pre-conceived theory or set of beliefs. It has evolved organically over a period of years as a result of my own long experience in the field of personal and professional development.

In 1971 I began working with Dr Jay Stattman, the director of the Institute of Unitive Psychology at Utrecht, The Netherlands, where I subsequently became an associate staff member, setting up human potential courses, seminars and training facilities all over Europe.

The unitive coaching process represents a comprehensive tutorial framework within which a valid individual authenticity can be built. It provides a comprehensive introduction to the theory and practice of personal and professional self-empowerment and the development of insight, true awareness and authentic interpersonal communication.

Basic principles of Unitive coaching

The unitive approach to the process of self-discovery is not only eminently practical but also covers every aspect of the whole person.

– At the rational level, it works experientially to bring to awareness obsolete and redundant patterns of acquired behaviour

– At the emotional level it seeks to reconcile spontaneous feelings with intellectual insight

– At a psychological level, it aims to empower individuals with self-knowledge and the strength of their unique authenticity

– At the higher, integrated level of intuition, its goal is to facilitate personal development on issues of imagination, spirit and creativity

Unitive coaching in practice

The first requirement for those who intend to communicate effectively in an honest and open dialogue with other people is that they are up to speed with their own developmental homework. To act authentically as an effective resource to others on their individual pathways through life, you first need to be thoroughly conversant with your own home territory. You can’t take anyone further than you’ve travelled yourself.

There’s an old saying that goes, “We don’t see the world as it is; we see it as we are”. You’ll never be able to see what’s really going on in the present if your attitudes and patterns of behaviour remain stuck in the past, with your eyes staring at an unchanging inner landscape. If you want to become aware of who you really are – to start feeling comfortable in your own skin – you’ll need to examine your own habitual outlook on life; discover its hidden and negative function, and work to bring it up to date and relevant to present reality. It’s a demanding and often difficult task, but you’ll find the rewards are enormous.

Personal authenticity is all about experiencing each event in life in the light of present reality, instead of through the distorting mirrors of the past. This will necessarily involve you in what might at first appear to be a frightening thing to do. In order to access your innate sources of personal wisdom, you’ll need first to let go of those bits of your previously acquired stuff that’s now become useless – to cast off your old protective clothing and immerse yourself completely in whatever new experience life may come up with.

Once you’ve become part of that experience, your entire being – mind, body and spirit – will become an instrument for opening up receptive channels of communication between your own true responses and those of the people who share your present environment. Instead of trying to influence events from the outside, you’ll find you’ve become an integral part of them. It’s a magical process: experiencing the power of the present instead of just observing it.

Within yourself you have the potential to integrate your internalised conflicts into a unitive whole, greater than the sum of its separate parts.

Unitive coaching provides a level playing field where coach and client face each other as equals. Instead of assuming a directive role, it identifies the true nature of the personal authenticity and power habitually surrendered to ‘experts’ and authority figures and brings it back home where it belongs.

The ultimate goal of unitive coaching is to facilitate this liberating insight. The true purpose of human existence is to accept and to commit to present reality and the inevitable imperfections of life and all who live it.

…and in that very imperfection, each individual can experience the truth and beauty of authentic being and the possibility of spontaneous change.

Charles Bentley PhD, founder of Life Coach UK, is recognised to be one of the most qualified and experienced life coaching tutors practising in the UK today. The Advanced Coaching Course demonstrates the enormous potential of his approach to acquiring and developing world-class coaching skills. For more information visit www.LifeCoachUK.com

Connect With Other Artists

“So I am not the only one having these creativity blocks? This makes me feel less lonely.” - Martine, Painter

Why IS it so vital to our creative fulfillment to connect with our fellow artists?

Support – Asking for support is often the last thing we think of, even when things are at their toughest or we feel like giving up. We don’t want to impose on someone else, we don’t want to reveal anything that could be perceived as a “weakness”, and we think we “should” be able to handle things on our own.

Meanwhile, lessons from the self-care field show us that isolating - keeping those negative thoughts and feelings to ourselves and withdrawing from people, either physically or emotionally - will have serious repercussions.

Not only do we increase our risk for serious emotional difficulties like depression and anxiety, but we also suppress our immune systems and put ourselves at risk for significant physical injury as well.

Kinship – “Community is important – like-minded people, friends who are artists – the need to be understood, for your language to be normal – I feel like a Martian with people from offices”. – from The Creativity Interviews, by Linda Dessau.

We all have a fundamental need to be seen, heard and understood, and to feel like we fit in with others. For many creative artists, that just doesn’t happen “out there”.

We feel too different and this tends to send us further into isolation. It can also reinforce a negative self-image and make it more difficult to gain the confidence, strength and courage that we need in order to approach our creative work.

Collaboration – Two heads are more creative than one. Whether it’s combining two different art forms (i.e. a writer and an illustrator), or teaming forces within the same discipline (co-writing, or contributing individual pieces to a common theme), you can choose to work with someone at a similar level of creative development, OR challenge yourself by working with someone who’s farther along the journey.

Inspiration – When you purposefully seek out creative inspiration, and you open yourself up to receive it, creative juices and ideas will flow abundantly towards you. Sometimes just being with another artist – on the telephone, over email or in a coffee shop – and talking ABOUT your work can inspire you and spark you back into the flow of things.

Motivation – Setting up a structure where you’re regularly sharing your work with other artists, or even regularly talking ABOUT your work, will give you a sense of being accountable to someone else. Plus, the ambition and productivity of another artist can “rub off” on you and get you moving.

Feedback and self-improvement – You can consciously create a safe space for yourself to get feedback on your work, in order to continuously develop and improve your skills.

Otherwise, your only means of feedback is what comes at you directly and indirectly through contest submissions, auditions, audience members, “looks”, unspoken comments (that we’re bound to misinterpret) and other forms of formal or informal judgment and rejection.

When you take the first step and request feedback, you get to make up the rules! If your work is in it’s infancy, you might request that someone just listen as you talk, knowing that as you talk things through you’ll clarify your ideas for yourself and spark new ones.

If something is closer to completion and about to be released into the world, you might ask for more concrete feedback and impressions.

Giving back and mentoring – No matter how far along the path you’ve traveled, there’s always someone newer than you in at least one specific area of skill, experience or confidence. And even if they’re not, YOUR unique perspective can always help someone else if they’re open to hearing it.

Helping someone will ALWAYS come back to you – whether it’s hearing your advice and being able to apply it to yourself, having that person be able to help you at another time, or just feeling great about yourself for enabling someone else’s creativity.

What about solitude?

You might be challenging some of these ideas. Maybe moments of solitude have brought about your most intense periods of creative inspiration and transformation.
Traveling, meditation and nature walks are all examples that I’ve heard and experienced. Keep your periods of solitude – seek them out, if you haven’t yet. Solitude is NOT the same thing as isolation.

Remember, there’s no reason to feel different when there’s a whole creative community out there, and plenty of reasons to reach out and connect with other artists.

© Linda Dessau, 2005.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. Feel like your creativity is blocked? Sign-up for your complimentary copy of the popular e-course, “Roadblocks to Creativity” by visiting http://www.genuinecoaching.com