Marriage Makeover: Part 6 - The Intelligent Way to Refresh Your Marriage

You begin well in marriage as happy husband and wife until you see some early warning signals that they are not as affectionate toward you as you would have expected.

In fact they are positively cold at times. At the wedding and for a time afterwards they were clearly acting in perfect spouse role play mode. How do you get them into a real and hot relationship with you? You need Marriage-Makeover-Part-6 . Yes, it’s the The Intelligent Way to Refresh Your Marriage.

It begins with you telling them you sense they don’t have the same regard for you as when you got married. Ask them to share with you their feelings. Some probing about their fears of the sameness and boredom of a long term relationship will bring to light interesting stories.

You might also try, only where appropriate, if they feel the marriage equivalent of the “buyers remorse” suffered by real estate investors after they’ve signed the contract. That could prove to be a useful tension lifter in the conversation.

It’s important you explain to your life partner the reason for your open and frank conversation.

You need to let them know you always want both of you to keep the chats about your hard times between yourselves. Be clear on the poisonous relationships that can develop should either of your confide your marriage woes to an outside stranger who suddenly appears in your life as the only one who understands the real you - and all the woes in your relationship. That’s a lie.

That’s one of the enemy’s oldest anti-marriage missiles and you will not fall victim to it as long as you remain committed to Marriage Makeover Part 6.

You will prove for yourself that it’s the The Intelligent Way to Refresh Your Marriage.

Copyright 2006 Kenneth Little

Kenneth Little is a writer, teacher, public speaker and the publisher of a re-released classic - in a revealing ebook- that will show you how to get the best of health and wealth out of all your future years. Find more on this at:
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Six Amazing Accessories for Your Cinderella or Princess Wedding

Some elements of the Cinderella wedding are downright obvious — the extra-full ball gown, the elbow-length gloves. And let’s not forget the pumpkin carriage that’s sure to show up somewhere, whether it be the place cards, the centerpieces, or a giant prop piece near the entrance.

But with Princess weddings — as with any other kind — it’s the details that make the difference, and getting those right often brings the bride the most satisfaction. Here are some suggestions for feeling that Cinderella magic right down to your glass-slippered toes.

The Headband

No one will fault you for wearing a crystal-studded royal tiara and necklace set. But Cinderella herself wore something a little different. The Disney movie was created in the 50s, when headbands were all the rage, and Ella herself seemed especially partial to them. Even on her wedding day, she wore a sparkling headband right on the top of her crown, in the simple 50s style. A waltz or ballet length veil sat low on the back of her head, almost at the nape of her neck. Without much difficulty, you can still find a rhinestone-studded wedding headband today.

The Neckwear

Cinderella’s choice of neckwear was a little more timeless. Often, you’ll see her don a simple one-stranded pearl choker. But it seems that her favorite adornment was the satin ribbon choker, which she wore in racy, Nicole Kidman-style black. You might not want to be as daring as Cinderella at your wedding, but the satin choker is fabulous, especially if you can purloin an antique ribbon from a beloved grandmother. Now you’re the walking embodiment of elegance, and you have “something old” covered.

The Glass Slippers

It’s common knowledge that you can get dramatic “glass slippers” (actually vinyl) for your royal stroll down the aisle. But glass slippers come in more casual, comfortable forms as well. Look for the open-toed variety, which give off all that fairytale spark, but leave your tootsies cool when it’s time to dance the night away. Sure, Prince Charming might find these less useful as a bridal homing device, but he’s already found his princess.

The Bluebirds of Happiness

Bluebirds played a major role in Cinderella’s rise to the top, yet they usually get short shrift at a princess-theme wedding. Don’t forget these perennial symbols of nuptial good luck at yours. A lovely way to include them is to track down a small bluebird keepsake charm or clip you can affix to your garter, toasting flutes or bouquet. Hallmark has one that simply glows. There you have it — “something blue.”

The Dove Release

You could argue that this isn’t an accessory, but it’s our article, so we’re calling it one. Doves aren’t the key characters in Disney’s version that they were in the original Grimm story — and thank goodness for that — but they still define the moment when the prince and princess unite in marriage. For any Cinderella wedding, they’re a must. But some “dove” handlers (the doves are actually white homing pigeons) have something more to offer the princess bride, such as ornate pumpkin coach carriages that double as cages. These can be placed near the altar for some romantic cooing action, then rolled down the aisle for a dramatic release once you’ve become husband and wife. For the biggest fireworks-like sensation, release the first two doves yourselves, but let pro handlers manage the rest.

The Guestbook Picture Frame

If you’re true Cinderella aficionado, those full-color Walt Disney prints of the royal couple probably get your heart beating a little faster. Buy one framed with a large white matte. Or if you really want the signature frame but don’t want the $150 price tag, buy the print separately and make a few patient trips to the thrift store. At a large one, you’ll typically find a dizzying sample of frames and mattes you can usually get for pocket change. That’s quite the return on something you’ll love looking at for years.

About the Author

Blake Kritzberg is editor at FavorIdeas.com. Stop by for Cinderella wedding favors — then learn more about Disney weddings. This article also appears at our site under Cinderella Accessories.

Don’t Be Surprised to See Cupcake-like Wedding Favors at the Next Reception You Attend

The wedding cake has sometimes been referred to as the most important purchase when planning a wedding or a wedding reception. Many couples are willing to spend big bucks on the cake because every guest at the reception will undoubtedly stop by the cake table to admire the details and creativity of the cake chosen. But for some guests, who may not be able to attend the reception or who may need to leave before the cake cutting, there are new options available. One such option offered by some bakeries is the availability of miniature cakes or cupcakes decorated to match or coordinate with a full sized cake.

Depending on the extravagance of the wedding or the size of the guest list, the bride and groom-to-be may choose to purchase a full size multi-tiered cake decorated to their liking, and provide a handful of the take home sizes to be packaged for those leaving early; or decorate each table with several of the miniature cakes of different flavors or decoration patterns. Another option for those without a constricting budget is to purchase the miniature cakes for each and every guest scheduled to be at the wedding reception. For this option the official wedding cake would not need to be full-sized. It only needs a layer cake for cake-cutting pictures and if desired, a layer cake to be frozen for the one year anniversary.

Cake decorating has come a long way with trends like this one and with decoration ideas available. The sky is the limit for creative ideas available and flavors or colors used for the feature cake and now for its miniature counterparts

Easy Fall Plant Propagation Techniques

As a home gardener, fall should be a very special time for you.
Fall is the best season of the year for plant propagation,
especially for home gardeners who do not have the luxury of
intermittent mist. The technique that I am going to describe
here can be equally effective for evergreens as well as many
deciduous plants. The old rule of thumb was to start doing
hardwood cuttings of evergreens after you have experienced at
least two hard freezes. After two hard freezes the plants are
completely dormant.

However, based on my experience it is beneficial to start doing
your evergreen cuttings earlier than that. So instead of doing
“by the book” hardwood cuttings you’re actually working with
semi-hardwood cuttings. The down side to starting your cuttings
early is that they will have to be watered daily unless you
experience rain showers. The up side is that they will start
rooting sooner, and therefore are better rooted when you pull
them out to transplant them. To prepare an area in which to root
cuttings you must first select a site. An area that is about 50%
shaded will work great. Full sun will work, it just requires
that you tend to the cuttings more often. Clear all grass or
other vegetation from the area that you have selected. The size
of the area is up to you. Realistically, you can fit about one
cutting per square inch of bed area. You might need a little
more area per cutting, it depends on how close you stick the
cuttings in the sand. Once you have an area cleared off all you
have to do is build a wooden frame and lay it on the ground in
the area that you cleared. Your frame is a simple as four 2 by
4’s or four 2 by 6’s nailed together at each corner. It will be
open on the top and open on the bottom. Just lay it on the
ground in the cleared area, and fill it with a coarse grade of
sand. This sand should be clean (no mud or weed seed), and much
coarser than the sand used in a play box. Visit your local
builders supply center and view each sand pile they have. They
should have different grades varying from very fine to very
coarse. You don’t want either. You want something a little more
coarse than their medium grade. But then again it’s not rocket
science, so don’t get all worked up trying to find just the
right grade. Actually, bagged swimming pool filter sand also
works and should be available at discount home centers.

Once your wooden frame is on the ground and filled with sand,
you’re ready to start sticking cuttings. Wet the sand the day
before you start, that will make it possible for you to make a
slit in the sand that won’t fill right in. In this propagation
box you can do all kinds of cuttings, but I would start with the
evergreens first. Taxus, Junipers, and Arborvitae. Make the
cuttings about 4″ long and remove the needles from the bottom
two thirds of the cuttings. Dip them in a rooting compound and
stick them in the sand about an inch or so. Most garden centers
sell rooting compounds. Just tell them that you are rooting
hardwood cuttings of evergreens.

When you make the Arborvitae cuttings you can actually remove
large branches from an Arborvitae and just tear them apart and
get hundreds of cuttings from one branch. When you tear them
apart that leaves a small heel on the bottom of the cutting.
Leave this heel on. It represents a wounded area, and the
cutting will produce more roots because of this wound. Once the
weather gets colder and you have experienced at least one good
hard freeze, the deciduous plants should be dormant and will
have dropped their leaves, and you can now propagate them. Just
make cuttings about 4″ long, dip them in a rooting compound and
stick them in the bed of sand. Not everything will root this
way, but a lot of things will, and it takes little effort to
find out what will work and what won’t. This is a short list of
just some of the things that root fine this way. Taxus, Juniper,
Arborvitae, Japanese Holly, Blue Boy/Girl Holly, Boxwood,
Cypress, Forsythia, Rose of Sharon, Sandcherry, Weigela, Red
Twig Dogwood, Variegated Euonymus, Cotoneaster, Privet, and
Viburnum. Immediately after sticking the cuttings thoroughly
soak the sand to make sure there are no air pockets around the
cuttings. Keep the cuttings watered once or twice daily as long
as the weather is warm. Once winter sets it you can stop
watering, but if you get a warm dry spell, water during that
time. Start watering again in the spring and throughout out the
summer. The cuttings should be rooted by late spring and you can
cut back on the water, but don’t let them dry out to the point
that they burn up. By fall you can transplant them to a bed and
grow them on for a year or two, or you can plant them in their
permanent location. This technique takes 12 months, but it is
simple and easy.

True Love Might Require That You Love Him/Her Enough to Let Them Go

True love is supposed to be what brought you together. Many couples though, whether just dating, engaged to be married, married couples or people just living together experience difficult times, heartaches and breakups. Does true love have a roll at these times? What if it does? Can you handle that kind of love.

It’s true you don’t feel true love when you are the one being left. There is no sense of love when some one leaves you and you feel betrayed or, that you have been done wrong. What you are feeling is anger. But what if the shoe was on the other foot and you were the one who felt you needed to leave. Maybe it’s not your desire to hurt the one you’re leaving but you have realized that you didn’t really love them. You want to move on because there is no sense in trying to be a couple if only one of you desires to be there.

If you are the one being left how should you respond in the situation? How does true love play a part in such a scenario? You are angry and hurt. You feel betrayed and maybe even a bit used and down right mistreated. These are the kinds of feelings and emotions that accompany being left. It’s like the fabric of your very being is being ripped to shreds. When you can’t seem to stop them or get through these feelings and emotions they can lead to bad health. So what can you do differently to avoid the stuff? Well, how deep is the well where love exists in your heart? Not your love for the other person but just love in you.

Here is True Love

Love would not hold someone prisoner. Love won’t try to force someone’s will. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails.

That is true love. Sounds like a lot doesn’t. The good news is that you don’t have to do love. Let love do itself. Read again all the things love is and then just submit. You have to submit your self to love. In your pain; in your loneliness; in your misery; in your deepest most profound sadness submit yourself to love.

Sometimes it may feel like you are giving up or giving in. You may feel like a failure, defeated and beaten down but, you must submit to true love. It is not that you are doing this for the other person so much as you are doing it for yourself. You only give up your will for love. To submit to love is to release your self from the pain. If you don’t submit to love you can’t forgive. And if you can’t forgive you will remain trapped in your pain, loneliness, misery and sadness. No matter what you do, love and forgive or, not love and refuse to forgive, the person who left will still be gone. More than likely they will be going on with their life.

True love helps you to release them without anger and malice. In releasing them through love you release your self to quicker healing. To love in this way helps you avoid bitterness. You will become stronger and mentally stable. Your emotional health will be stimulated. You will be wiser for your next relationship. Yes there will be another relationship. You will be wiser going in and able to again love freely. Love will carry you through and guide you into a relationship with someone who will truly love you. Relationships may end but true love never fails.

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Love Is Where It’s At

It’s all about love. It may seem trite to say, but its true. Love is where it’s at.

What do you want to do in life? It goes easier with love in your heart.
Want better relationships, or a better family life? Make sure love is in your heart.
Trying to do a better job at work? Do it with love.
Trying to make a difference in anything? Start by finding love.
Is there pain in your life that needs mending? Love is what heals.
Are you lonely; still looking for that special someone? Love will find a way.

In a world of pain and anguish, of seemingly endless problems and crises, love is so often forgotten or overlooked. In times of national crisis does anyone advocate love and forgiveness? And how often do you, when faced with interpersonal conflict, remember to keep love in your heart for the person you are facing?

This, of course, is not to say that love alone will solve all problems. But it is to say that all approaches to any problem will always resolve quicker and easier and will lead toward healing when love is consciously present.

Violence does not stop violence; it only breeds more violence. Period. The scars born of violence do not go away; rather, they fester and return in kind.

Love dissipates violence. Not always immediately, but always eventually. This is why the most powerful advocates for peace are the most vocal advocates for love. We need only look at leaders like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, who both advocated nonviolent protest and loving the enemy, to see that armies may be conquered and systematic repression can be stopped with the use of long-term campaigns of love, kindness, and forgiveness.

Again, this is not to say that love alone is a panacea, a magic pill that cures all. It is only to say that all methods and plans for positive change will always work better when there is an undercurrent of conscious loving energy.

Love is the one thing that is universally revered as being good for us all, and yet, with tragic consequence, it is so often ignored as a technique for change. Indeed, finding and keeping love in our hearts is the only way to consistently promote and effect healing, on both a personal and a national level.

It is fear that drives us to violence, as individuals and as nations. It takes courage to look beyond that fear and to consider that forgiveness and acceptance are necessary elements in any healthy relationship, whether it’s between two people or between two cultures. Fear pushes away; love brings together.

Love is the universal element that can be used in any situation where positive change is needed. It is not the only element, but is the element that can be used anytime, anywhere.

Love is the answer.

Mark Maxwell is a saxophonist and composer whose company, Romantic Sax Music, creates and distributes music that facilitates romance and harmony. Romantic Sax Music: Romancing Your Heart…Soothing Your Soul

Love: A Killing Game Or A Source of Pleasure?

Why do so many relationships fall into monotony after a while, ending up like crumpled leaves hanging from a dead tree? Why is it so difficult to keep the juices flowing? Why does the momentum of the relationship fade away? Is it inevitable that after some years the initial freshness turns into devastating boredom?

Imagine a blossoming, appetizing, juicy red-and-yellow peach, and then see it transform into a dark-brown, wrinkled, dried-up prune. Where did the freshness go? Where did the juice go? Where did the life go? The envelope is still there, the outside still exists, but inside there is nothing left: no more life, no more pleasure, no more fun, no more love, only vinegar.

In the beginning of a relationship, the juices flowing through your body are boosted up by the attention and interest of that significant other. Everything looks great, you’re blossoming, even your body is “filled up” by the other’s attention for you. Attention is a powerful form of energy, and energy is what makes things run, move and flow. Energy is what makes things alive.

Without energy, there is no life. Without energy, there is only death.
Every romantic relationship contains the risk that you start depending on the energy provided by your other half, rather than sourcing your energy yourself. Reflect for a moment on this term: “your other half.” You need not depend on someone else to become a whole person. You can be complete by yourself. You don’t need an “other half” before you can be happy and productive. First learn to be a complete person by yourself. If you’re a woman, learn how to activate your masculine energy, and if you’re a man, activate your feminine energy. Only by balancing yourself and sharing your own completeness can you aspire to make love last forever.

When you depend too much on the energy of your spouse, you will feel the need to possess this person in order to fulfil your daily energy needs. When you’re not able to establish your own energy connection, you will feel the need to control the other in order to receive enough energy to get by. Can you imagine how tragic this is? You have to remain in control of the other person all of the time! One day he might start giving his energy to someone else; then what are you going to do? You would probably collapse, and this you can’t afford, so therefore you have to stay in control. To control is to possess, and in the process you are reducing the other to the level of an object. He or she is no longer seen as a person, but as a “thing to be controlled,” like a toy-car with remote control.

This is no way to live. This is anxiety. This is stress. Most of the time you feel anxious, because you never know exactly what the other is doing. What a waste of energy! If you are so completely focused on the behavior of others, you will never be able to move on with your own life. You are doomed to live a life of fear, trying to control other people, and be ever restless.

In the end you cannot control another person, and so this attitude doesn’t give any rest to your soul. You will be continually subjected to stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, fear, and anger. Every time you feel you are losing control, anger will get a hold of you and you will throw a tantrum in an attempt to gain back control.

What a miserable life! No relationship can withstand this kind of pressure, so it’s bound to collapse and explode in your face. You will end up alone.

Will you start this killing game all over again with a new victim? How to stop this attitude and create a love that lasts? You must concentrate on yourself rather than on the other. Yes, I know, this sounds like a paradox. But by focusing on YOUR mission on earth, on what is important for YOU, you will be filled with energy.

You need to first find out how you can be a complete person just by yourself. The only way to do this is to find out what your mission on earth is all about, what are your passions, why you are here, and then to focus on this all the time. You should set suitable goals for yourself and do everything to reach them. You need to stick to your own dreams, the ones you had BEFORE knowing this person with whom you are having a romantic relationship. You have to go back to the person YOU were BEFORE you met him or her. Stick to that person, stick to yourself, instead of sticking to you partner.

Be faithful to your own dreams. Only this way can you be loyal to your relationship! You cannot give what you don’t have. If you cannot be loyal to yourself, you cannot be loyal to your spouse. If you lose yourself in the relationship, you will loose the relationship. If you abandon your own dreams, the relationship will abandon you.

First and foremost you should focus on yourself. Your dreams, your goals, your truth. Somebody who really loves you will love you even more if you are being your true self. Someone who cannot love you when you follow your excitement is not worth being loved by you!

If your husband is angry with you because you take time to achieve your goals, then he is not supportive. If your wife is jealous because you have success and she doesn’t, then that is her problem.

Don’t lose yourself in the arms of the other but stick to yourself, and your love will last. Focus on your own mission, focus on the reason why YOU are here on earth, make your mission the first priority in your life, and you will be loved for WHO you are.

This is real love. Real love is supportive. Love yourself, love your dream, love your mission, love your life, and surely enough, a wonderful person will show up and love you even more. What you are able to give to yourself, you will get back thousandfold from the outside world. If you are already in the energy of love, by simply loving yourself, then you will attract love from outside into your life.

Make love last by loving yourself first.

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The Wedding Planner…

A wedding planner is an individual that you will hire that will
take care of the basic planning of your wedding. Is this person
to be trusted to handle each and every aspect of your wedding?
How will you know that this person is going to know what you
want and will they stick to your budget? It is often a scary
thought to think that you will not have a handle in each step of
the wedding process if you hire a wedding planner, but you will
have amazing results if you find the right planner!

What They Do

The wedding planner is hired to handle virtually every aspect of
the wedding celebration. In most cases, they will help you to
make choices and help you find the right wedding service
providers for your wedding. They will help to maintain a balance
in what is happening, when it is happening, who is doing it and
how much it’s going to cost. They will manage the overall
function of the wedding, making sure that everything goes as
planned from the beginning to the end.

But don’t worry, most of the time the wedding planner works
under your direction. You will communicate to them your needs
and desires and he or she will make sure that it happens. You
will be able to have your say in what you want, within reason of
course. You’ll be able to follow through on their happenings as
well. Don’t forget, it’s you writing the checks so you’ll always
make the final decision.

How to Choose a Wedding Planner

The hardest part of having a wedding planner is choosing one. It
is important that you find someone that you like, trust and have
confidence in. You’ll need to put a whole lot of trust in them
to handle your wedding day celebration since this is the only
time that you will be getting married and you want it to be
perfect. Look for these characteristics in your wedding planner.

* Are they easy to communicate with? This is very important as
you need them to be able to do what you want, understand what
you want and to tell you when something is going wrong. A
wedding is not a time in your life that surprises are a good
thing. * Can they accommodate for your tastes and preferences?
It is quite important for the wedding planner to be on the same
page as you are. Sit and look through a wedding magazine with
the prospective planners. Discuss the pictures of weddings in
the magazine and get an idea if your tastes line up. * What
aspects of the wedding will they cover and how much say so are
you going to have in the wedding planning? This is completely up
to your discretion here. But make sure that they understand what
you expect them you handle solo and which elements of planning
you want to be involved with personally. * Are you comfortable
with them? You need to be able to be comfortable with the
individual you choose since you will be spending the next few
months with them. Make sure that you like them! Planning a
wedding can be a great deal of fun, but there are also
frequently many stressful times as well. If they even annoy you
a little bit at the beginning, chances are they’ll drive you
nuts by the end.

All of these things can help your wedding to go smoother. The
wedding planner is a tool that no wedding should be without!

How the Rose Got it’s Thorns: The Legend of Cupid

Cupid actually gave the rose its thorns. One day, Cupid stopped to smell a rose. Hidden inside of that rose there was a bee which shot out and stung him. Exasperated, he pulled out an arrow and shot it right into the flower in anger, resulting in the rose everafter sprouting thorns.

This god of love and desire is one of the reasons why the rose is one of the most celebrated symbols of love in our culture. He appears on and leading up to Valentine’s Day as a symbol of both pure and blindlove.
Son of Venus, who is the goddess of beauty, this young man was bound to become the prince of love. The legend of his own love affair begins when a young woman was accoladed for her pristine beauty. Her name was Psyche. His mother, became extremely jealous and sent Cupid to destroy her. She conspired that he should shoot one of his magical darts in Psyche. His darts had the power to make a person fall in love with the first person they laid eyes on after being pierced. Not only should he shoot her with one of these, but he should make sure that the first person she laid eyes on would be hideous. That way, her reputation would be ruined and the only one on earth heralded for beauty would once again be Venus. Cupid went off on his mission.

He found Psyche and poised to shoot his dart. As he pulled out the arrow Cupid accidentally pierced himself. His magic worked on him, and he was head over heels in love with Psyche.

The two became lovers, but Cupid made sure to never allow Psyche to see his face, for fear of displeasing his mother. Years past and Psyche could no longer take the mystery. She decided she must see her lovers face. She tricked Cupid into exposing himself, and he became so angry that he ran away. Psyche wandered all across the land in misery, looking for Cupid. Finally, Zeus took pity on her, and re-united her with Cupid and gave them permission to marry.

Did you know?
Cupid is the father or Pleasure. No, really. He and Psyche gave birth to a daughter, whom they named Pleasure.

Lorraine McLaughlin is an employee of Toronto Baskets and Gifts.
For great gift ideas on Valentine’s day or any time of year simply visit:
http://www.torontobasketsandgifts.com

Divorce - Lawyers Are The Only Winners

There is a joke out there that scientists are beginning to use lawyers in place of lab rats for their experiments. Apparently, the scientists were becoming too attached to the rats and there are some things that even rats will not do.

Is this cynical? Perhaps. But there is also an element of truth when it comes to lawyers and divorce. During a divorce, your emotions are on high alert and you may not be thinking clearly. This lack of focus for the lawyer’s clients is like blood in the water for sharks.

If you can put your emotions aside for just one moment, you and your spouse will realize that mediation is a much better option then going through lawyers and the courts.

IMPORTANT POINT – You do not need the courts to decide the division of marital assets, child support and spousal support during a divorce. You only need the courts to make the entire process official and final. If both parties in the marriage can present a self-negotiated settlement to the courts, the courts are perfectly agreeable to this option. This is why it is so important to do most of the groundwork prior to showing up in court.

If you attempt to negotiate a settlement through your respective lawyers, you will end up spending much more money then you really need to.

Imagine this scenario – lawyer A sends lawyer B a letter outlining their clients position on any particular issue. Lawyer B receives the documents from lawyer A and then issues their own document back to lawyer A acknowledging receipt of documents from lawyer A. Lawyer A then sends a quick note back to lawyer B acknowledging receipt of the receipt of the documents. If you listen carefully, you can here the lawyers laughing silently as they calculate exactly how many payments they can make on their high-end luxury car on your back.

As ridiculous as this sounds, I’m embarrassed to admit this has actually happened to me. It is maddening to know thousands of dollars were spent unnecessarily because two parties could not come to their own solution. If you let your emotions run wild, the lawyers will capitalize on this weakness and start charging you hundreds of dollars for an administrative tug of war.

I realize it is not fair to stereotype an entire profession or group of individuals but if lawyers really had their clients best interests at heart they would send their clients a letter that says – negotiate a settlement yourselves or we will charge you a bucket load of money for your stupidity.

There are other options available if you and your partner are unable to negotiate an agreement yourselves. Mediation is a viable option that can get the job done and save both parties a great deal of money. In the end, long after the divorce has been finalized and the emotions have subsided, both parties will be grateful they used mediation.

Like all things in life, choose a mediator wisely. Not all mediators are competent and effective. If you can find a mediator that both parties agree on, you are well on your way to dissolving your marriage.